Q. What's your name?
A. I dont have a name, I'm an escalator.
Q. What do your friends call you?
Q. That's a cool name.
A. Not if you're made of metal.
Q. How come they haven't fixed you yet?
A. Hell if I know.
Q. Do you think it's because you don't go to a major street?
A. I go to Vermont, are you saying that's not a major street?
Q. How did you learn how to talk?
A. Same way you did, by listening.
Q. How long did it take you?
A. Not as long as Chinese.
Q. You speak Chinese, too?
A. Mostly Mandarin.
Q. Ni hao ma?
A. Hen hao, nin ne?
Q. Wo bu hui shuo zhong wen.
Q. Mind if I ask a few more questions?
A. It's a free country. Knock yourself out.