Q. If you were a human, what would you do?
A. I'd learn how to fly a plane, and i'd swim a lot.
Q. Any thought's on the Meaning of Life?
A. Oh, and I'd date.
Q. What's that?
A. I'd learn how to fly, i'd swim, and i'd date a lot. You people don't date that much, what a waste.
Q. What do you know about dating?
A. I know plenty.
Q. Like what?
A. Like most single guys I see are only going out a few times a month. What are they waiting for? This town is full of hot chicks. Fun, hot chicks. Take it from someone who cannot move, if you have the chance to move, move. If you have the chance to dance, dance. And if you have the chance to take a hot chick out on the town in a fun place like LA, then do it. Turn off the tv and go rock out.
Q. Do you follow sports?
A. Of course.
Q. What's up with Kobe?
A. He's just young, that's all.
Q. What chance do you think the Cubs have this year?
A. Their division is weak, so who knows.
Q. Sosa, McGriff, and Alou - that's a mighty nice heart of the lineup.
A. If Mueller comes back, and Hundley does something, then yes, the Cubs will go far, but that's not likely.
Q. What was your favorite movie last year?
A. Amelie.

interview with an escalator