they
tell you you can be anything you want, but its not true. maybe if youre rich.
maybe if youre hot as shit. maybe if youre super nice. maybe if youre God. maybe.
for the most part can feel like swimming against the tide or getting stuck in
traffic or getting lost in a foreign land. looking around and saying what am
i doing here.
when i was in college. my freshman year. which was really my junior year cuz
i took off two years to sell televisions and pump gasoline for people i went
on
a date every day for a week just to see if i could and i could. it was a dumb
experiment but it was interesting because even after all of that i still looked
up in the air
and said ok guys, whenever you wanna pick me up here i am. but noone picked
me up.
and on top of all of that, it was in isla vista, a place ive never felt more
at home in. a place i wish to raise my children. a place i want to mayor.
a place i want to be burired. a place better than anywhere there is.
and i can remember each and every one of those girls.
two i dated for entire summers. one was blonde. one ruled.
one was so damn cool that she was all, i want a man, not a boy.
one i ended up kissing every single time we went out after
but none of it seemed real, like she was an alien, like she was
an angel, like she was what would happen if everything you
wanted came true, it didnt seem real and it didnt seem fun.
she said yes, but in a cold way. in a rubber doll way. like
kissing your mirror. like cheating at solitare.
like being a young republican.
like whats the point, bro.