tony pierce.com + mary!
busblog at gmail dot com

nothing in here is true

 


   Friday, February 08, 2002  
Emmanuelle warns me to beware Vivid, but I don't pay for my porn. Although I trust her reporting, I find it so hard to believe that Vivid gets 150,000 guys to cough up $39.95 a month to subscribe to their website.

Not that I have any problems with the good people of Vivid, my favorite porno operation, who repeatedly has offered me a variety of employment opportunites, and whose work I admire greatly. But come on, theres so much free smut on my screen that I am often finding myself turning off pop-ups filled with colorful pictures of scantilly clad women because I just can't be bothered with that right now. Don't lie, you've done it too.

I've had a Hotmail account since '97, so guess how many FREE TEEN SEX spammails I get a day? All you have to do is click one of those lies and your screen is flooded with many pages of XXX love that most normal men would be satisfied with, so why would I pay the equivalent of a month of DSL service just to see the newest stills of Janine? Didn't I get the DSL so I could use Grokster and get it from my "friends?"

And speaking of Teen Sex, nothing is free.

i love my former teen princess, but when your girl has made the leap from $6/hr to $7.45 an hour, guess who's paying when she says she wants a shake and some fries at the BK Lounge? And the Diet Cokes, and the Sweet Tarts, and the Pop Tarts, and the Tater Tots. Good thing I've got an ATM up my colon and money shooting outta my ass or I'd reconsider dating anyone without a trust fund. But I digress.

Smut.

Dear angels from the cyberworld, buxom beauties from beyond. Thank you for dropping your drawers and lifting your lace and letting us see what the Good Lord and the talented surgeons bestowed unto you, but obviously none of you has heard of supply and demand because there is so much supply that I don't think I've even missed my Pictureview.com subscription for almost a year now. Pictureview, for you puritans, catalogs all of the USENET pics alt.sex.pictures.pornstars... etc. and catagorizes them and provides thumbnails and a decent search engine and no ads and charges a paltry $8/month.

People who pay for it on sites like Vivid's are probably people who pay for it in other ways too, and people, you dont need to pay for it. Not here. Not any more. Not now.

But who am I even writing to? No one who reads my page pays for nudes, or even searches for it.

For the exception of this happening stud looking for "free pictures of bart simpson getting fucked," or this lost soul from Baghdad searching for "lap violence girls fuck" pics.

As twisted as they are, they still know better than to pay for the milk when the teets are squirting for free.

And with that I wish you a swell weekend.

Email Greg and wish him a happy birthday.
 
Regrets, I have a few. I've lived 108 years. I've climbed every mountain, flipped off every asshole, and kissed all the pretty girls I ever yearned for. My sole regret was not joining my Daily Nexus friends to Prauge (back when it was in Czechoslovakia) and helping them start and run their glorious newspaper Prognosis. While I worked for billion dollar electronics companies, they grew their hair long, starved, wiped their asses with teeney squares of toilet paper, froze, and basically had the times of their lives.

All the big time media outlets documented their stories and ten years ago Details wrote this very nice long peice about them.

For all the kids who read this page, learn from my mistakes, the billion dollar companies will do fine without you, never miss an opportunity to change the world with your pals.
 
Since today is Greg's birthday no Black History Month spotlight this morning on the main page, but here's a picture of the first Black woman astronaut, Dr. Mae Jemison, a fellow Libra, and, as promised, a hot babe.

Mae's mom was as school teacher and her dad was a maintenence worker in Chicago . She got undergrad degrees from Stanford in African-American studies and Chemical Engineering, she became a doctor at Cornell and even spent some time in the Peace Corps after college.

The first time that she applied for acceptance at the NASA astronaut training program she was rejected, but the next time she tried she was chosen. Out of over 2,000 applicants, only 15 were selected. When Mae successfully finished her training program she became the first Black woman astronaut. At that time only four other Blacks had ever become astronauts.

In 1992 she flew on the US/Japanese joint mission on SPACELAB making her the first Black woman in space.

Today she heads up the Jemison Group focusing on consulting on the design and implementation of solar thermal electricity generation systems for developing countries and remote areas and the use of satellite-based telecommunications to facilitate health care delivery in West Africa.

Let's hope she's also a Cub fan.

   Thursday, February 07, 2002  
At 10:48am NASA paid a little visit to the Blog. Told you those guys are smart.

Sorta scary.

Why does this scare me? I don't know.

Hope all my facts were right.

If anyone from NASA wants to let me interview them using AOL Instant Messenger about all these pioneering Black astronauts for Black History Month, email me, maybe we could do it tomorrow, tonight i'm watching "Friends" with Chris.

But yeah, email me.
 
anna lost again. this time in Paris. This time to a frenchie named Amelie Mauresmo yesterday in straight sets.

On Satuday our girl lost to Monica Seles in Tokyo.

I'm starting to think that it has something to do with the cute little baby blue number that she seems in love with.

Anna seems to think it has something to do with emailing and calling me, so she has suddenly stopped all communique avec moi.

How do you say, "whatever," in French?

This week's big-ups go to Chris, who has loaned me her fine automobile for the last few days so that I could use it while Ashley was here. Not many ex-girlfriends would do that for a guy, but Chris is special, which is why I propose to her every chance I get.

I must say that I have enjoyed having a car these last few days. Strangely it is the AM radio that I have missed so much all this time.

That, and the Long Beach Freeway.

This week Howard Stern has been broadcasting live from Las Vegas on the FM dial right as I am pulling out of work and to have him in the morning and the evening is nearly as good as having Ashley waiting at home for me.

Also, mad props to my boys Ken and Matt, who have been mentioning my Black History Month stuff on their hugely popular sites. Welcome, fans of Welch/Layne.

Can a dumbass like me have it much better?

The answer my friends is, oui, monseiur.

If only that Honda could talk.

   Wednesday, February 06, 2002  
moesha got married in a secret wedding.

she emailed me to see if she did the right thing.
i emailed back saying, no she didnt do the right thing.
she picked up her cell phone, didnt say hi, just said, why not?
i said cuz most secret weddings dont work out, especially those by pop superstars who are only doing it because they want to get from out of their Church director father's grasp. especially those who want to feel ok about having sex. lots of sex.
she said, why you got to be like that?
i said, just keeping it real, baby.
she said, you dont even know my husband.
i said, if you had married that Boyz II Men guy that you were dating for a while, then ok, i would have said ok. but to marry your producer? i give it six months.
she said, youre so mean.
i said, oh, defensive? i give it five months.
she said, ha! we were married last june.
i said, tick tock, cinderella.
she said, stop that! you dont even know me.
i said, your tv show was cancelled, you passed out from "exhaustion" a few years ago, you've won a Grammy, you've been in movies, you're about to come out with a new record and you're 22 years old...
she said, im gonna be 23 on monday.
i said, fine, you're 23. even though you've sold 8 million records, you have much more left to live and having your producer play house with you isnt really gonna do much for you.
she said, so what should i do?
i said, look at that guy in the face and say to yourself, im going to look at that fool for the rest of my life, im going to pick up his dirty shorts, im going to get him dr. pepper in the middle of the night. im going to hear him chuckle after he rips a fart.
and then sing.
people love it when singers sound like they're dying inside.

   Tuesday, February 05, 2002  

jennifer jason leigh is 40 today.
i hope someone gets her a 40.

here's a picture i took of her last summer.

and here's a really scary one that i tried to make better, but it isnt that nice at all, really.

anyway, happy birthday, jjl, thanks for the pics and the autographs,
and thanks for being in one of my favorite movies of all times, "Fast Times At Ridgemont High."
 
"heard your boss hassling you."
it's ok.
"doesn't he know what you do some mornings?"
nope.
"don't you want to tell him?"
nope.
"why?"
not everyone needs to know.
"but you were only fifteen minutes late."
it's cool.
"i like your blog re-design."
yea, me too. took all night.
"i thought ashley came over last night."
she did.
"how did you redesign your blog if she was over?"
it wasnt easy.
"i saw you at the gym last night after work."
i was only there for a little while.
"did you get a load of those french guys?"
i wound up in the sauna with them.
"ive never seen two guys talk so much."
they were talking like crazy in the sauna.
"what were they saying, you speak french."
they were talking about french grammar.
"what?"
i think they had discovered that they were both french high school teachers and they were trying to figure out better ways to explain the masculine and feminine french words.
"like what?"
they were driving me crazy, i left after they agreed on le madame president.
"what's that mean?"
the lady president.
"yeah, like highschoolers are gonna be saying that a lot when they go to france."
never know.
"why do i always see you watching Regis when i pass your desk in the morning?"
cuz i think hes funny as hell.
"what's up with Black History Month, it sorta took a stall."
you know us Blacks, we're shiftless and lazy.
"no, really."
sunday i was busy, last night ashley pouted that i was working on the blog and wouldnt let me do a little feature thing.
"oh, whats up with telling everyone where she works, arent you afraid of stalkers?"
no.
"isn't she?"
no.
"what if some freak seems to think that she's all into them just cuz shes so friendly?"
if they touch her, they'll probably get maced or shot in the nuts.
"she packs?"
shes xbi too.
"i thought you met her on the web?"
on the drew barrymore web site?
"yeah."
nothing on this site is true.
"but some of it..."
nothing on this site is true.

   Monday, February 04, 2002  
i get two types of letters when people choose to write in regarding Ashley. I get the judgemental ones crying of cradle robbing and how im disgusting and how it isnt right, normally from women, which i delete immediately cuz they're hypocrites.

then i get the ones saying im their "hero" and how im "the man" and how im "living the dream" that come from the fellas, which i delete immediately because im so used to deleting the others. afterwards i softly say, "fuck."

Ashley makes me happy because she pays tons of attention to me and pours love my direction and takes pictures and writes and calls and does everything I would want a girl to do if she wants to show me that she likes me. I know we're not meant to be together forever, but right now it's fun and what else are you going to do?

Anyhow, Ashley got a job at Disneyland. The other day was her first day, and as she was talking to me about it I said, "you should make a diary just about all of this stuff." And she said, "ESP! I already did!"

It just started, so it's not much, but bookmark it, as I'm sure you will be fascinated by what will eventaully transpire in the Happiest Place on Earth.
 
yes, changed the look of the blog. something i wanted to do for a long time and never got around to it.

other than my friends, there are a lot of amazingly weak blogs that get a lot more attention than mine and a lot more hits and i keep thinking that maybe it's because im not playing on the same field as they are in that i dont use the traditional blogger template(s). oh well. who cares. i do, a tad.

tonight i will work on making the archives look better. be careful with the super old entries - which, of course, blogger chooses to put on the to top - because i was only getting used to this format. still, it's interesting to see how it all started.

did i like the game last night? no. pats shouldnta even been there. hot chick that i met last night drove me to work this morning and she loves listening to Rush Limbaugh so we were running late and i was forced to listen to his show. and the only thing worse than having the team that you hate winning the Super Bowl, is agreeing with Rush Limbaugh. he, too, it appears, thinks that the Raiders got robbed. Ditto.

saw the game at my lawyer's spectacular new casa up in the hills of Griffith Park. not only does she have a view of the Hollywood sign, but it's way bigger in person, than from the cheapseats down in the valley called Hollywood. wonderful friends, good food, nice Sony tv, drinks, bonding. intelligent convo, you know, the usual. makes you wanna hug people and say your prayers a few extra times. im lucky.

Back to the game: Mariah sang beautifully. U2 sang wonderfully. Britney looked good. After the game Mariah called from her suite in the French Quarter and asked if I liked her singing I said, of course. She said that she did too. I said, you know Mariah, I think it took a lot of courage to go do that she said, "thank you."

I said, Mariah, "Glitter" has sold 2 million copies in 15 weeks and your label dropped you and people think you're over. She said, "do we have to discuss this?"

I said, "it's Black History Month, I think it's a travesty that they're doing this to you, when over history, there's been lots of crazy white singers who popped pills, did drugs, and drank and freaked out all over who never got dropped."

She said, "so you think it's racism?"

I said, "I don't know what it is, but let's go over some of the other big time artists and how many records they sold recently and you tell me if they shoulda got dropped.

Jay-Z had a hit single with "H to the Izzo" off of his "The Blueprint" cd. It's been out 20 weeks. Only went platinum. One million sold. Regarded as a huge superstar.

Nelly Furtado's debut album has been on the charts 57 weeks. Over a year. Hyped as the next big thing. Double platinum. Two million sold. Same as you.

Dave Matthews Band "Everyday" is on the radio, commercials, shoved down our throats. Been on the charts 48 weeks. Nearly a year. 3 million sold. "Glitter" will hit 3 million after 48 weeks, bet. DMB is probably the biggest star in all of college radio - whatever that means.

Madonna's Greatest Hits #2 - songs from the last ten years, has sold one million copiesin 7 weeks. No one is dropping her, well, because she owns the label.

The Backstreet Boys "The Hits" - somehow they came out with a greatest hits album as well just in time for Christmas. Hasn't even gone gold. Less than .5 million sold. Drop them? Don't think so. Is one of them crazy drunk? Yes.

J. Lo came out with her record. Good as it was with all those big singles and the videos and the MTV appearences and all that hype It's been on the charts for 53 weeks. Only 3 million sold. Huh? Yes. Only three million sold. J. Lo was second only to Nicole Kidman as the most successful woman of the year 2001 and she only sold 3 million records.

Which brings us to U2 - huge tour. Lots of singles. Joey Ramone was listening to their record on their death bed. They toured almost all year long. Pay-per-view specials. they have a DVD out of their live concert in Boston from this tour. Fresh off a Grammy win and probably another Grammy - Mariah, they have only sold 3 million records.

Your 2 million records that you sold in the midst of all this hate and bad press shows that not only your fan base is as strong as ever, but maybe stronger than ever.

"Thank you Tony, you're really a friend."

Oh don't thank me, baby. Thank Soundscan and Billboard, cuz in the old days, no one would have admited that they sold any copies of "Glitter".

"OK, you didnt need to go that far." she said and lifted her shirt and got some beads.