one way to spread the word is to ordain ministers and not make it very hard to become ordained.

yeah, you'll get some idiots in there, but you'll also get some superstars.

two things you get to do if youre a minister in america is marry people, and talk to prisoners.

tomorrow im going to marry two people.

its my first time doing it, and im very nervous.

ive had to speak in front of large groups many times before but this time Gods gonna be there.

i dont wanna fuck up.

the happy couple's first date was on a special night more than ten years ago where almost all of our friends were in attendence.

four of our friends had new group

baby dangerously

they sat on stools and sang beautiful songs.

everyone had dressed up

coulter was the bartender and he mixed the most wonderfully delicious intoxicants,

and after the music, everyone started making out.

and the stereo was playing and the vibe was like nothing ive ever felt before or since

and everyone was dressed up and young and beautiful and buzzed not drunk not drugged

loved

love was in the air

it was

it was

kissed six girls walked one home and kissed her too.

i saw one guy get cornered by two girls

so when i found out that bonnie and charlie had their first date that night

there

with us

i felt a lot better about being the mc of their dance

these two have traveled the world together since then, and theyve traveled the world alone.

charlie was one of my roommates when i lived with layne and don and dan and mike and for a little while, kip, and shira, and chris, my true love.

during the proceedings i wont say anthing about the time that charlie fell from on top of the giant christmas tree in union square on new years eve and broke his back

and rescue 9-11 happened to be there and shot it and showed it on tv hosted by william shatner, i believe.

i am blessed to have the greatest friends in the world.

one time charlie and bonnie had a thanksgiving dinner at their house and the food was probably the best food ive ever had in my entire life and that includes the meals ive had in some of the best restaurants in paris, rome and isla vista.

charlie was the editor and cheif of the daily nexus the year after i graduated and one of the best reporters we had when i was there. he and morgan were a writing team for a while and it totally worked perfectly and it was so great watching them huddled in front of one computer brainstorming and teamworking and laughing and rocking.

bonnie was the editor of the art's and entertainment section of the daily nexus two years after i was.

the daily nexus had a history of winning tons of awards but one that we hadnt ever gotten before was for best arts section in california.

only because of the help of doug arellanes, amy langfield, jeff whalen, todd francis, denis faye, brian banks, and mr pat whalen, was i able to win it in 90.

bonnie won it in 92 all by herself.

she plays the cello.

for awhile these guys lived in frisco for a while they lived in austin and now they live here in la with all of us and most of us will watch this thing but i'll be the one with the crazy view.

good thing theyre going to be together forever or id be really nervous.

# | |

caption this, please

# | |

my man russ writes in and asks "can the red sox and cubs play for third place?"

thats something that if i was president of the united states, i would immediately mandate.

nobody wants to see this miserable world series.

everyone wants to see the cubs vs the red sox.

give the money to charity or some shit. i dont know. i dont care.

all i know is it would triple the ratings of the fish and the fuckees.

i am so sleepy, america. it's finally catching up to me.

if i could i would sleep all weekend, but i have to be a preacher on sunday, my first time ever.

differnce between the losers world series is that i would make it all day games when they played at wrigley.

the way it ought to be.

the way God intended.

and buck beers for the kids.

maybe afterwards for the fenway games aerosmith, the cars, and the pixies could play

and at wrigley cheap trick, smashing pumpkins and ministry could rock.

i dont know.

better than thinking about different ways to jump off bridges.

# | |

the glass is all empty

in 1984 i was brand new to california. i moved here to get away from the problems of my youth. little did i know that such idealism is childish and after leon bull durham let a simple grounder scoot through his legs, allowing steve garvey to have the chance to hit the homerun that knocked the 84 cubs out of the playoffs, setting the stage for the first time that i cried over my baseball team.

after i was finished sobbing i decided that the only way that i could fix these pressing issues was to either making my lifes goal to be the manager of the chicago cubs and leading them to victory, or buying the cubs and running them with some sort of passion and interest.

this morning i realized that i might just have to start raising the money to buy the cubs or forever learn to live with this sick rotting nauseous feeling that is fermenting in the pit of my gut.

what do you do when your dreams will never become realized?

where do you go when all the beer at wrigley wont satisfy?

the beer vendors at the friendly confines come right to your seat and pour two cupfulls at a time to numb the oncoming pain. and if you dont think its pain, youre high.

or a yankee fan.

the meek will inherit the earth but i dont want the damn earth, i want a ring.

i want to wear a hoodie that says cubs world champs on the front and fuckers on the back.

it seems like i want so little and i cant even have that. i dont care any more if i never get a car, or a house, or kids, or even a hot wife who wouldnt mind being nice once in a while.

ive completely given up on having a career of any substance.

is it really asking so much to hope that the Tribune Corp will make a few more moves this winter, sign a free agent closer or three, spend a little money, and take this horrible monkey off our backs?

sadly, i think its far too much to ask.

which is why you will always find good drinkers in red sox and cub fans.

which is why karisa and i will be friends forever.

bambinos curse + doc searls + ken layne + low culture

# | |

if anyone understands, i do.

i went to a strip club for the red sox tonight.

the cheerleaders had come over to the hollywood cabana. they wanted to cheer me up, ironically. i told them that i was already cheered up. they said what about the xbi, we thought you had gotten in trouble.

i was all, fuck trouble, nothings worse than what the cubs just went through.

70. jack b.

they laughed, mixed some drinks and asked me where i wanted to watch the red sox game.

i told them that i wanted to watch it at home.

they called me no fun and we drank and smoked and played a quick game of scrabble because im addicted and then the game was getting too close so i told them that if they were still motivated that i would like to go to a strip club to watch the rest of the game.

they were game, so we went to cheetahs on sunset.

71. allison

i asked the big armenian doorman if the game was on inside.

he was all looking at the girls. didnt look at me when he said yeah i think theres a game on in there.

a game?

none of our IDs even got checked, just let us in, there was a big screen

the

game was on and i ordered a round and sat at the foot of the catwalk and the girls got some quarters for pool

and i watched the game until a particularly frisky exhibitionist began to dance within my sightline of the game

72. abigail

she didnt dance like the others. hard to really call it dancing, to be truthful.

she moved around the stage like the music kept getting shot through her feet buckling her knees and curving her back and then out through her head and flailing arms

like she was dry humping the

then she caught my eyes

locked on,

as her hair fell over her eyes and nose and smile.

they play the music pretty quiet at the cheetahs on sunset blvd in los feliz down the street from the vista theatre. not quiet quiet but she was dancing to marilyn mansons latest, mobSCENE, and it was lets not wake the neighbors level but she didnt mind.

none of the girls minded.

73. xtracyx

they all wore super tall see through hard plastic 8 inch heels. one tattooed punk rocker wore wooden high heels and the shortest short shorts i think ive ever seen. perfect hair. music that ive never heard before. everyone was ridiculously skinny.

one chick had long long spider legs and they all had to wear pasties but they were cute and i just wanted to watch the game.

and i dont know if everyone was distracted by two semi drunk cheerleaders playing air guitar with pool cues but nobody pestered me with offers of lap dances

and i got to say fuck unmolested when aaron boone who shouldnta even been a yankee if life was fair gave us one more soaring reason to hate the yankees and ive never seen a ball just float away like that before.


j_e_g + these pictures make me very happy + dan the goose

# | |

if you believe the crap they write in the LA Times this is "L.A.'s most entertaining Web log."

i kid. i kid cuz i care.

you can see their article here. registration is required or you can type in laexaminer as the user and laexaminer as the password.

came into work today...check that... drove into work today thanks to the transit strike and listened to tony kornheiser laugh cuz life is fine as long as youre not a cub fan. got here. read the email. expected the hammer to come down, but it didnt. it was postponed for a later date.

nothin worse than your boss keeping you waiting before he lays into you.

good thing im a perfect employee who is blameless and never makes a mistake. :)

compile your info against me, good people, i will be ready. as suicidal tendencies once screamed, you cant bring me down.

now back to my local page.

they mentioned my name.

69. Howard O.

the dude who wrote the article today about LA "Web logs" interviewed me a week or two ago -- time really is lost on me right now since everything has revolved around the playoffs lately -- and we talked for what i thought was not long enough, but probably longer than i would have if i was on Letterman.

and then i talked shit about him on this page.

and then he emailed me about it

and i responded in email form, and he responded back.

and in the end he praised me with probably the best compliment one could get.

so thank you, James Verini, of the LA Times. you are a far better man than i.

some of the things ive written about my local paper over the last year or two.

# | |

its interesting to see all the people who come out of the woodwork like rats to kick a guy when hes down.

instead of focusing on one team who came back in an improbable way to win two games on the road against the two best pitchers in baseball and praising them for never giving up, they attack me and my team every way they can.

what sort of ass does that sort of thing?

what sort of heartless creep says to himself, i know his team hasnt won in almost a hundred years, that team is five wins away from ultimate victory and instead of saying "sorry bro" im going to write him emails or leave dumbass comments on his blog and talk shit and try to rub it in.

as if morons could make it worse.

morons, you cant make it any worse.

you can fill up my comments all you want with your dreck and hate and jealousy and ignorance, that wont make me feel anything but better, cuz i know no matter what sort of fucked up thing the cubs have going for them, they wont ever be as ridiculous as you.

then the jackholes come in here trying to pound on me for asking for help to get world series tickets.

even without their reactionary criticisms, let me tell you something, it is hard to ask for money. its hard because most of us not only have hang ups about money, but we definitely have hang ups about asking for things.

a man is supposed to be perfect. a man is supposed to be able to have everything and be able to do anything. when a man asks for something, especially something that he is supposed to magically have at all times, like thousands of dollars at his disposal, he sets himself up to be ridiculed. so then what happens is he doesnt ask, or doesnt ask enough, or doesnt ask the right people, or doesnt ask the right way, and then he doesnt get it.

ask and you shall receive, buddies.

dont be afraid.

last week welch linked a blogger who wanted his readers to chip in and get him a laptop so he could continue blogging for them. within a day or so not only did he raise almost enough cash, but someone flat-out bought the thing off his wishlist in one fell swoop.

thats a beautiful story. and whats best about it is it's true. people spend their money on a variety of things and for them to have the opportunity to give back to someone who gives to them every day is a natural and win-win exchange for everyone.

whats also natural is for idiots to quickly become jealous and try to ruin the good thing thats going on.

the web and the internet and especially blogging are poised to change a lot of things, especially how people give money directly to those who produce information and entertainment. there will be trailblazers, there will be naysayers, and there will be investors.

if you get all freaked out and jealous and flustered by new ideas and new ways of doing things, especially things where everyone wins, then the busblog is the wrong blog for your naysaying ass to find itself, cuz new shit happens here almost every line.

this entire blog, friends, is an experiment within an experiment. some take a long time to figure out, some take minutes. some involve taboo subjects like dating 18 year old college girls, or asking for money for bleacher seats at the world series. some involve taboo subjects like supporting the left wing ideals of american politics. some involve writing in such a way that english teachers everywhere would have heartattacks.

not every experiment is going to work out the way that i expect it and thats why i love science and why i love life. because theyre both filled with surprises. some are happy surprises, some are sad ones that make you want to just pull the sheet over your head and take another damn personal day.

if theres anything that you can take from the busblog, take this: follow your heart, come from a good place, trust the world, be fearless with your opinoins, and write more than usual.

last night i got to hear one of my favorite rock stars lead the fans of my favorite team in the singing of take me out to the ballgame during the seventh game of the national league playoffs, when mr. billy corgan of the smashing pumpkins sang last night with that pisces iscariot lilt of sadness that he has become known for.

if you remember, during game one, jimmy buffett sang during the seventh inning stretch and fox didnt show it.

i bitched on here and i dont even like jimmy buffett the way my buddy the video guy likes him, but i argued that it is a tradition at wrigley, and it is a tribute to their last great broadcaster, mr harry caray.

and im not saying that because i blogged it, it created change in how a gi-normous multibillion dollar tv network chose to present their baseball playoff coverage.

but im not saying that it didnt cause change either.

if even i was just one voice in a chorus of people singing bullshit, now you might know how important that one voice is.

you are valuable, cubfans.

your opinions matter.

start a blog. write in it.

tell people about yourself and the things you like and the things you dont like.

there will be assholes

but there will also be angels.

tonight the boston red sox play their arch rivals the new york yankees in the seventh and deciding game of the american league playoffs.

pedro vs the rocket in the house that ruth built.

classic east coast bench clearing brawling and beanball baseball in rocktober.

the red sox havent won a world series since 1918 and the yankees bitchslap the integrity of the game with how they assemble their team each year while giving the middle finger to sportsmanship.

if pedro hits every yankee in the head and punches zim in the gut he wont really be doing the Lords work, but he will be doing mine.

lets go sox.

i heart kate + ken layne is coming to LA this weekend to give us rock + the knowledge problem

# | |

life isnt fair.

ive typed those words a million times in this blog and a lot of you just saw it on tv.

i just saw it on tv.

if life was fair i wouldnt have so many friends. i wouldnt be so damn good looking. i wouldnt have all these cars and homes and bling.

i wouldnt have all of you reading exactly what i would be writing in my diary if i still kept one.

if life was fair lots of you wouldnta sent me money so that if the cubs made it past tonight i would be sitting in a bleacher seat next to one of the coolest girls in america.

thank you, by the way, to everyone who sent me money. it should have all been returned to you. if anyone didnt get a refund, please let me know.

if life was fair i would be living an average life. with average ups and downs. with average expectations and average failures.

but life isnt fair and i end up getting way more than i deserve which is why i try to share as much of it as i can with you.

still that doesnt mean that i wasnt close to tears when the cubs game ended tonight.

but fortunately i was distracted by a phone call from the xbi telling me that in the morning i was probably going to get written up and definitely some of my responsibilities would be stripped from me.

if life was fair i would be making more money there, but things even out, its cool.

for months ive been asking not to have to patrol west of the 405, that making me cover the wesssside spreads me too thin and i will miss shit that happens in hollywood, downtown, and south central.

well today on my day off something gnarly happened in west la, something i should have predicted, but because my plate was full and has been full for six months sometimes mistakes happen.

whats interesting is tommorow i will be stripped of what i was asked to be taken away from me a half year ago.

i will be yelled at about something that ive been yelling about.

whatever.

theres always the next hearbreak.

coyote has been taking some amazing pictures + trevor + jaime

# | |

went to the movies before the game to stop from thinking about it. saw kill bill. now i have a headache. rented a car and they had to drive me to my house to get an electricity bill so that they knew i was legit.

just because i have an electricity bill doesnt make me legit, i told him.

he said he knew who i was but the boss needed an electricity bill since i didnt have a credit card, only a bank check card.

i said you can drive me to my house but all this hassle... i want a break on the car rental.

they gave me a little break.

good car. it will get me to work and back while the mta gets over their strike.

went to kfc, got home, saw the red sox win. chatted with karisa who was stoked, chatted with kristin who just flowed the busblog and told me that sometimes her mom reads this

hi madpony mom

i think both of your daughters are great but im deeply in lust with kristin

lust in a nice way

a sweet way.

i hope my foul language at times and my stories dont offend you, im just trying to give the kids what they want.

and after seeing kill bill, i dont know why people get mad at me for talking about some of the violent moments that happen in the xbi.

while kristin and i were chatting kerry wood gave up three runs in the first inning and i said a swear word and told her i was going to have to lie down and watch the game.

she said why

i said cuz i might cry.

she said oh baby.

then i realized i didnt have my lucky shirt on or my lucky hat.

so i put those on, and the cubs scored a run, and then kerry wood got up and hit a homer.

now we're all tied up at three all.

i think we're going to go to the world series, mrs pony.

and i think boston is gonna come with us.

which means me and karisa will be going to chicago.

lets hope.

better yet, lets pray.

<3 madpony <3

# | |

im always curious about people with front row seats to big time games.

either you have to know someone or be rich or be someone or be evil or be connected or steal or be on the take or have blown someone or something to sit front row during a bigtime playoff game like that and looking at my buddy there i can think of a few things he musthave done from that list to be in the position that he was last night when fate rang and he answered, "yell-low."

its pretty easy to be a cub fan in the front row of a baseball game.

you sit there.

you cheer when the cubs do anything, and boo at the other team, and try to make the umpire cry, and drink your beer, and eat your food, and if someone passes something dont bogart and pass it along.

tip the guys who bring you your shit

and dont reach over the railing.

the umpire said that moises reached into the stands.

ump was wrong. everyone was wrong. the fans arms are going out. moises's glove was going up.

not only will the guy have a beautiful life in florida, where he should move back to, but im glad he didnt even get the ball.

pray for kerry wood.

pray for sammy sosa.

pray for moises and randall and kenny lofton.

its ok to pray for baseball players.

and please pray for joe borowski.

im off to get more rum.

your pal,

tony

# | |

yes, the dude, the alleged "fan" with the marlins sweatshirt underneath his hoodie screwed up everything, but i also had nothing going right at my place.

i had people over and all our phones were ringing.

everyone i know was calling and we were watching the thing on tivo and people were saying all the wrong things.

just dont say anything.

dont call.

this dude has to call me tonight and thats gonna suck cuz i would really like to unplug the phone but when youre xbi your phone can never be unplugged.

we save the world.

it sucks.

being home in the day is weird. ive been listening to the sports talk radio shows this morning while generally freaking out. talked to work about four times.

im nervous about tonights game and i just want to go somewhere and watch a movie for a couple of hours but thats right theres a transit strike going on. i cant go to manns chinese and see kill bill.

it is screening in walking distance, but not till two. which means i will miss the red sox game.

but maybe that will give them luck.

i hope the red sox know they can beat the yankees. they can.

and i hope sammy sosa knows that it would be ok for him to hit a few moonshots tonight.

i got a beautiful email from an elementary school teacher who said she flowed me ten bucks and told her fellow teacher to donate too, and does it get any better than that?

well, yes, yes it does.

kerry wood could shut out the damn fish and sammy could hit like four grand slams.

the rum, by the way, woke me up this morning tapping at my shoulder, unscrewing its own cap and motioning that it would like to dive down my throat.

i was in no condition to argue with anybody at that hour.

aaron + abigail + megan all flowed bringing the total to $392 which is good because the ebay dude auctioning the tickets relisted his auction late yesterday and it looks like it will indeed cost two grand to sit in the bleachers.

much love to doug and jack for their extra special efforts.

# | |

i dont know why im debating this so much. i dont want to go to work. for a variety of reasons. plus the damn busses and subways are on strike. plus the most important game the cubs have had in at least 20 years, if not over 50 years is going to be on tv today and im not guaranteed that i will make it back home in time to see it.

and what if the mailman bumps my satellite dish? and what if my tivo fucks up. and what if the electricity goes out in the middle of the day and deprograms everything.

i have personal days at the xbi that they give us. if this isnt personal, i dont know what is.

problem is i will get hell for it when i go back to work on thursday. and i will have to hear it from a number of people and why cant i get someone to invent a home tshirt making machine because if there was one i would make a shirt that said

seventh game of the national league playoffs, bitches.

and on the back it would say

one game away from the world series.

i know im not the best writer, america. but i am a great fan. im a fan of so many things and most of them take place during a baseball game.

strategy like crazy, drama, psychology, good vs evil, youth vs experience, intimidation, the poetry of emotional communication, history, power, precision, guts, fear, teamwork, preparation, finesse, and the relationship between fans and their heroes.

the relationship between a manager and his piss poor bullpen and his ace who has probably thrown too many pitches.

how on earth can i be fucking around at the job, a place that i showed up early so i could leave early, but am instead stuck doing overtime cuz of some selfish asshole who wants to play chicken with me with the fucking print button, when mark prior climbs the dark mound of wrigley on a chilly autumn night needing the support of everyone but especially me, the worlds dumbest cubfan.

if i wasnt a Christian minister i would call in sick today, but im not sick. im no liar. i have been given personal days, this is a personal day.

the cubs. the team of my life. the staple of my tshirt collection. the reason i have directv and tivo. will be playing game seven in the playoffs, winner goes to the world series, in wrigley field, the place my ashes will be sprinkled.

unlike the fiction of this blog, my job doesnt involve saving lives, really.

i can take a damn day off.

in america.

during a transit and grocery strike.

if the son of a nazi can run and win the office of governor of california, tony can take a day off to see his cubs get into the damn world series.

despite his unquenchable work ethic.

and if youre ever curious if youre losing your mind, think about if youre speaking about yourself in the third person.

jason + jesus rob + wandering steve + basart + sarah all pitched in for the bleacher seats bringing the tally to $252.

thank you so much you very kind people.

# | |

maybe now you understand.

all my life it's been like this.

walked down the hall in school back in the day. cubs hat on or cubs shirt on. i owned a variety of cubs shirts since my lovely mother would pick out only the finest at kmart or zayre.

walk down the hall and all the kids would pass by and theyd say it

cubs suck

tall kid popping his bubble gum

cubs suck

little kid with freckles and a fucked up hairdo

cubs blow

teacher looking over his glasses

tony, the cubs suck.

and back then the cubs did suck.

those people were just training me to remember that there is no wait till next year for some teams. only thing next year is bringing is a different heartbreak so may as well remind you right now the fat guy with a trapper keeper said in so many words when he too passed by and coughed

cubs suck

but even then i didnt listen to no one but acdc so fuck them i thought and went to french class and thought about video games, as they were new.

i told my work today that i needed tuesday through friday of next week off to go to chicago and pay thousands of dollars for two tickets to the fourth game of the world series at wrigley field on my birthday and my boss mumbled something about world series i dont care cubs world what and i didnt say nothing i just went about my business cuz if i have to be fired then fire my ass, but all of you saw the chicago cubs today and if you think theyre going to make it this far again any time soon, as in, in my lifetime, then you just havent been paying attention.

outside of prior and wood and sammy nobody is going to remember any of these dudes ever again. as great as kenny lofton was for the tribe back in the day, speedy black leadoff hitting centerfielders are a dime a dozen. the cubs are a better than average baseball team, solely because of their home run hitting champ, their two incredible starters, and their manager who has to be given the benefit of the doubt for keeping tonights starter in the game for so long, because before dusty, cubs hadnt been this deep into the playoffs since the last time i cried over them.

hot chick was over watching the game with basart, tsar, and i, and afterwards everyone said they were sorry and i told them that it was i who was sorry because i was going to have to kick them out so i could write something.

and the hot chick was sorta upset because she was feeling sick and she thought i was going to go to her wilshire blvd condo on the wesssside after the game and i told her that things had changed, that if she hadnt noticed some ass hole wearing a cubs hat and a marlins jersey had stuck his big fat hand over the railing and prevented moises alou from catching what would have been the second out of the inning, and instead the inning turned into an 8 run disaster.

and while the christmas lights twinkled in my bedroom she stood there, hot, too stunned to sniffle, and obviously unaware of who she'd been making out with all these weeks, i was a man who was about to put his head in a pillow and cry over a baseball game

and then write about it on his fucking blog.

she said but why do you have to spend all night writing about it and i said do you think the tribune is going to write about it properly or the times or the st petersberg whatever or the santa barbara news press those people arent going to...

and she took her cute little things and she collected the keys to her two seater and walked one of the finest asses you'll ever see out of the door

which might not have been so bad if there wasnt a bus strike and she being my ride to work in the morning.

and in a perfect world, this would have been my work for the day.

writing.

or i'd have a job where i could talk to somebody reasonable who would say take the day off tony pierce, tomorrow the cubs have to get into the world series

which, tonight should have shown you, isnt all that easy.

and today just like when they won

im somber, unsurprised, and stunned

gorilla mask + welch + howard owens

# | |

people are asking how they can help get me and krazy karisa to wrigley to sit in the bleachers and drink old style and eat vienna pure beef dogs and throw peanut shells at the white sox fans.

and its easy. either you can flow, you can pray, you can link one of the posts today on your blog, you can make a button that you can send me that i can then distribute through the web, you can get your uncle to just mail me his bleacher seats, you can call your friend of your friend, you can just sit there and enjoy the show.

mr. frankenstein the redsox fan flowed which brings our tally to $116, which is mighty good.

keep in mind boston fans, if your team makes it, our girl karisa comes with. karisa is the cute one in the picture without the receding froline. and she really loves the redsox.

maybe enough to grant a photo essay or three in return for some healthy donations to the bleacher seat fund.

on the way to work today, cuban girl and i saw twin women. maybe they were 50. if not they were in their mid to late 40s. totally wearing the same sweater, same pants, same purse, same hairdo. walking across the street together at the same time in the morning.

funniest thing happened when one pointed west down sunset blvd and the other pointed south down poinsettia. it was a moment that would have been great to capture on film, i mean on my digital camera, but no. i suck.

the cuban girl has a convertible but she never puts the top down. it's very curious.

so karisa says that if the flow continues to come then i have her permission to use her in a photo essay.

shes very shy so this is actually quite a concession. she really wants to go to the world series with me. it looks like her red sox are trying to make it a little too dramatic however. they just had the bases loaded with their bro Manny up and he grounded out to third. but now they just cut a guy down trying to steal.

really quite exciting, if you let it excite you.

do you like baseball, america?

i guess someone does if the bleacher seat auction on ebay is over two grand.

so not like im giving up or anything, but what happens if the web flows me a grand and the auction is two grand. do i really refund all your money, or do i put out an s-o-s to my pallies in the xbi? does that count, or is this an experiment to see if the web can really come through. an exercise to see if a blogger can really get what he wants, for his birthday?

questions questions.

anyhow this afternoons dude of the day has to be Jack Bog who posted something super awesome about this push for the bleacher seats.

Jack, you rule! thank you!!!

You rule too Allison: we've broken the all-important $125 mark!

brian is a libra + alecia has pictures + dc has ham

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busses went on strike this morning. subways too. so the cute cuban girl spent the night with me and woke up early to take my blogging ass to work.

people were still waiting at the busstops playing with their change. not a lot of people. just enough.

we passed by striking grocery store workers and we honked. i raised my fist and yelled out "union forever!" and they said whooooo right back at me. its foggy in LA. its cold in the day. its warm in the afternoon. its crazy here. the cubs are going to the world series tonight.

and youre sending me there.

solomon dropped off my upgraded computer. its fast as hell. its clean. its like how i feel after a nice shower and a hot tub dip and a roll in the hay and some rum and a nice light eyed girl in clean sheets and whats that smell oh its brownies. you made brownies? yep. that oven works? sure.

went to bed early. went to sleep late. i had a mixed cd that after each song she'd whisper, i have to steal this cd. i consider that a compliment.

im so excited nervous excited nervous excited freaked out nervous happy about mark prior taking on the fish at wrigley tonight that i barely ate anything last night. just some soup. just some soda. just a scoop of icing. then bed.

then prayers. dear Lord please let the cubs win tonight. please let them. please let mark prior be mark prior for just a few more games. three games max. let sammy connect and be patient. let randall simon only swing at strikes. let aramis ramirez catch the ground balls and throw them accurately to first. let the marlins run themselves out of contention. let our bullpen skate by. let the fans of chicago, the cubs fans, the forgotten people, the worthy tribe, let them celebrate tonight on the corner of clark and addison and on waveland and on sheffield. let the people spill out of the cubby bear and down the street past the billy goat. let murphys bleachers rock when they raise that white w flag. let the fire trucks ring their bells and the children dance into the night.

dear Lord let the cubs get into the world series tonight.

amen.

i love you.

i called my mom and my sister and pretty much every old girlfriend i had except a few. i took a shower, i flipped around tivo. i talked to the gas company. i talked to my true loves answering machines. i talked to karisa who is stoked who wants to go with me to wrigley and we talked about whether we could be friends if the red sox and the cubs were facing off against each other and we realized that we didnt know if we could be friends.

one of us would be so sad. one of us would say how could we make it this far just to have our heart broke. one of us would fly back to hollywood with a tshirt that said league champs that is the saddest shirt cuz it means you lost the world series. one of us would have to pose in a bikini on the cover of maxim. one of us would have to wait until next year, which meant never.

if the red sox made it to the world series and lost to the cubs and if i was a red sox fan i would cry.

if the red sox beat the cubs in the world series and the cubs didnt have a bench clearing brawl that included doing to pedro what zim wanted to do but was short of breath i would cry. me and the cuban babe reviewed that game, that yankee game of sunday, and pedro was throwing a good three feet inside. it was sad.

do you know i love you? i do. if you dont donate i'll still love you. dont feel guilty. this isnt about that. this is about asking and shall receiving. this is about an experiment in blogging. this is about a study in paypaling. this is about a pair of tickets that are now over two grand and i have raised sixty six bucks. oh wait, two people have flowed twenty bucks each! thank you tom and david!

thank yooooooooooooooou!

melting dolls + the blog of the century of the week + mr. cynical

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the cubs are going to win the world series. everything is upside down right now. arnold is my governor. rush is a drug addict. karl malone is a laker. the grocery store is on strike, the bus is on strike, you can say fuck on tv now.

im not saying i deserve to see the cubs in the world series, or that this cub team is one of the finest ever, or that there arent more important things to be rallying around than getting my ass back where it belongs in the bleachers of wrigley field. but im going. i called my mom today and told her. i called my sister and told her. i told my boss and my bosses boss and pretty much everyone i talked to. i told karisa that if the red sox make it then i'll take her, and thats when my sister called up and said that she has enough air miles to send me and karisa out there and back for free.

im going to the world series and so are the cubs.

on my damn birthday.

and of course i know that asking for money is a dirty thing and uncomfortable and weird and you know what, not for me. and it isnt any of those things when i give it either. i would definitely flow my favorite bloggers twenty bones for their birthday especially if it would help them get bleacher seats to their favorite team in the fall classic. why not? if i really liked him id even think about forty. wtf afterall.

right now the tickets are going for over $1,500. i think it's worth it. if i was truly 110 years old, this would be maybe the fourth world series i would have ever seen at wrigley. but im not 110 and the cubs arent really all that great, other than a few guys, so this might not happen again. which makes me think that two grand for those tickets might be worth it. a hundred people flowing twenty bucks? that could be done.

great part is, it has to happen in two and a half days.

people talk to me about the web and blogging and i tell them that magic can happen on the web in a way it cant anywhere else. and i mean in lots of ways.

before blogging the cubs totally sucked. now look at them.

thank you, internet.

and thank you instahangover + xtracyx + katie hall + joh3n, and jack! we are now at $66. excellent start!

you people sent me to aruba a little more than a year ago, and ive been thanking you for that for a long time. in a year i dont think youd say that ive slacked off. im going to this damn game. im going to take pictures and have stories for you, and i will blog from my mommas house and show you pictures of my niece, my sister, all her damn animals, the fans of chicago, the married with children fountain, the tribune building, the sears tower, the united center, the new soldier field, the town that i grew up in, and so much more. and maybe even your girl k*. so flow till it hurts and tell all your friends.

and pray that my work doesnt fire me. cuz im going. if i have to drink beers across the street at the cubby bear, im going. but id rather be in the bleachers. and id rather be there cuz of you.

go red sox.

go cubs.

stoke me securely with any major credit card through PayPal!

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on october 22, a long long time ago i was born.

when i was three my family moved to hanover park, illinois and very soon after that i became a chicago cubs fan.

the relationship i have had with that particular sports team has been equal parts love equal parts heartbreak.

on october 22 of this year, my beloved cubs will be playing in the fourth game of the world series (as long as either mark prior can beat the marlins tomorrow night, or kerry wood can beat them wednesday night).

if the cubs go into the fourth game of the world series winning 3 games to 0, that would mean that the cubs could win the world series at wrigley field On my damn birthday.

this is too much for me to fathom.

whats also incredible, is the fact that eBay has a listing for a pair of bleacher seats four rows from the ivy on october 22, my birthday, when the cubs will be playing in the world series.

this is where you come in.

i need your help, busbloggers.

many of you have written in to ask what you can get me for my birthday. what i need is for everyone who can, to flow whatever you can to my paypal account within the next three days.

if the donations are enough to win the auction then i will fly to chicago, take pictures, blog, and be indebted to all of you forever and ever and ever. if the donations are not enough, or if the cubs somehow drop the next two games, ALL of your flowage will be returned in full.

who will i take with me?

if the red sox can make it, i will take karisa, who is just as loyal to her sox as i am to my cubbies.

if the yankees make it, i will take my mom, the best person in the world.

i know that i said a long time ago when i started the get-me-a-car fund that i wouldnt ask for anything else from you this year, but i suppose there should be an underlying caveat to anything that i promise along the lines of "...unless the cubs are playing in the world series at wrigley on my birthday."

stoke me securely with any major credit card through PayPal!

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even though karisa is all on his jock, i cant stand affleck. i hate that he has my girl, i hate that he has everything, and i hate that he gets a plasma tv at his fingertips at his first base box seats at the clemens vs pedro game, with my girl.

and of course i hate his matty clement goatee.

only thing worse than affleck is matt drudge licking the wounds of rush limbaugh.

witness:

Drudge on the cable talk show "Buchanan & Press," 10/10/03

BILL PRESS: Matt Drudge just about out of time, I've got to jump in. You mentioned Rush believes. One of his beliefs he's stated over and over again as anybody into drugs, anybody into drug use, anybody into drug sales-- the harshest treatment, "send them up" the river Rush says. After this experience do you think he might have a little softer, more liberal attitude about people who get hooked on drugs?

DRUDGE: I think he is being sent up the river and I think we'll see him paddle back down. On this, there's no law against being a hypocrite a few times in your life. And this industry is built on hypocrisy! Like I said I'm challenging the media tonight to empty their pockets!

Exactly which industry is Drudge saying is built on hypocrisy?

Certainly not journalism.

The War on Drugs Industry?

Fuck Matt Drudge. I hope he gets lockjaw.

In his attempt to turn the tables on "the media" who has had to put up with being under the same umbrella as Drudge and Rush, he basically calls his boyfriend a hypocrite in such a manner to suggest that its ok to be one now.

So the Republican party, via the next governor of california, has said that it's ok to:

have a dad who was a nazi
have nazi friends who you invite to your wedding
use steroids
grope women and humiliate them
smoke weed
not vote
have no ideas
engage in orgies

And now the Republicans are saying, via Drudge and Rush, that it's also ok to:

be a drug user as long as you call it medication
run from the law, the press and the parents into rehab once the national enquirer corners you (even though youve gone to rehab twice, and it failed)
go deaf from your drug abuse
not claim responsibility for being a long-term druggie, while supporting the war on drugs
be a bigass hypocrite
blame the "medication" and not the man

sutter + ev + blogger party i missed this weekend cuz the cubs game/party went late

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i dont have the answers for everything. i look at my simpsons desk calendar and its the month of libra, my favorite month, the cubs, my favorite team, is a game away from being the national league champs, my favorite band tsar is about to play a month of mondays at a pretty sweet club, and still i dont want to be here. i dont want to be anywhere near here.

i unlocked my back door on friday and i was thinking how i dont want to live where i live anymore. i know i pay a fraction what i should for that property but so what. im a big boy. i could move to where i should be living and figure out how to pay for it. life isnt that hard. whats hard is when you think youre out of a hole and youre not out of any hole.

i think these things and then friday night i found myself in the glow of a cubs playoff win and karisa inviting me over to her pad to drink wine and the phone ringing and food being delivered and my playstation 2 starting to work and i climbed into my flying car and i thought, what the fuck are you trying to leave? is traveling the world really going to be much better than hanging out with the coolest friends ever? all the time? in LA?

have what you have they taught us in the early days of the xbi which means dont get hung up on what you dont have at the moment. focus on whats happening. now. with you. now.

cubs are a game away from the world series.

im going to preside over the wedding of two really awesome friends on sunday.

cubs are going to the world series.

hot girls still find me interesting.

cubs will win tomorrow.

tonight i will have a new computer.

cubs.

rock.

tsar.

cubs.

rock.

mariah called me to see what was up with me and i said the cubs play tomorrow and she said baseball is still happening?

and i said, yeah, sorta.

tippecanoe + gabe takes me up on my challenge and makes a photo essay! + mc brown made the nyt!

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la times called me this weekend. youre always in trouble when the la times calls you and wants to do an article on you, or worst yet, wants to include you in a feature.

scary part was when the reporter said that he was writing an article on bloggers and yet he hadnt really read my blog, then asked if i could describe it.

i dont know much about journalism, but, shouldnt you read a guys blog before you call him up on the phone?

this blog really cant be all that hard to catch up on. i have a lot of pictures.

not so sure the guy understood what i was talking about. i have a feeling "real" journalists look at bloggers as amateur journalists. sort of how pro baseball players look at scrubs in the minor leagues.

so when i told him that i get laid from the blog he said, really? i said, yep. and then he said, really? and i said, dude, yes.

apparently writing for the times doesnt get you hot young fans.

which is why you dont see me rushing out to write for them.

but then he didnt follow up! so many other questions to ask after someone drops that sort of bomb on you. like, ask about what sort of chicks want to meet a blogger.

awesome chicks.

last night miss montreal came over. my computer was at solomons house getting a 200 gig hard drive put in it, 512 mb of ram, and a new athlon processor. say goodbye to 400mhz p2.

this girl has some body, times. booming system up top, etc. gorgeous eyes, soft smooth skin, etc. and yes, i think shes way happier that im a blogger than a quote unquote journalist and that is where the times should have gone with the questioning. he should have asked, why do you think the ladies are interested and i would have said because blogs are tons more exciting than newspapers to young women, because the odds of a hottie getting mentioned in a blog are way higher than getting her name printed in the la times, and odds are the mention in the blog will actually get read by her friends.

but what do i know.

i just know that i wish some reporter would call me who actually knew what the hell im trying to do over here. pc week interviewed me this summer and that guy seemed to really get it, but then when the article came out it was all scattershot and mangled that i didnt even go to the newsstand and get a copy to send to my mom.

it makes me think that i probably wouldnt do that bad of a job if a big time paper or magazine hired me.

i wouldnt mind that as a job one day.

i also wouldnt mind this for my birthday.

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go cubs



no updates until monday

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