i didnt learn that Ray Rayner had died this week until this morning when i was reading metafilter.

in order to honor and mourn one of my all-time favorite tv heroes, there will be no new updates to the busblog until Tuesday, January 27.

we've never stopped the bus before. not when ive gotten carpal tunnel, not when i was on vacation, not even when the cubs lost in the playoffs after being up 3-1 with the two best pitchers in baseball throwing for them.

but this is far different.

ray rayner was and is my idol.

Ray Rayner, Star Of "Ray Rayner and his Friends," on WGN-TV In The 1960s And '70s, Dies
Chicago Tribune
January 21, 2004

Ray Rayner, the actor who played Oliver O. Oliver on "Bozo's Circus" for a decade and who hosted his own kids' show 'Ray Rayner and His Friends" for 19 years on WGN-TV, passed away on January 21 following complications from pneumonia. He was 84 years old.

Mr. Rayner retired from WGN-TV in December 1980. Fans can visit wgntv.com to share their favorite Ray Rayner memories. The message board will be up until next Friday, January 30, 2004.

"Ray was a good guy. That's the one thing that everybody remembers about him. When he was on the air - that's the impression you got. He was a very friendly, warm person. That's one of the reasons his morning show was so tremendously successful," commented Allen Hall, a former colleague and the longtime producer of "The Bozo Show" on WGN-TV.

"Ray Rayner was most definitely one of Chicago's Very Own. Ray's work was enjoyed by everyone who grew up in Chicago," commented John Vitanovec, VP/General Manager of WGN-TV. "His tenure here at WGN is still a time recalled fondly by our viewers. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family. He will be missed."

WGN-TV hired Ray Rayner to portray Sergeant Henry Pettibone as host of the "Dick Tracy" show in 1961. He joined "Bozo's Circus" as Oliver O. Oliver that same year and continued in that role until 1971. In 1962, Ray replaced Dick Coughlan as host of "Breakfast with Bugs Bunny." In 1964, the show was renamed "Ray Rayner and His Friends," and quickly became a staple to thousands of Chicagoland grade school children. "Ray Rayner and His Friends" ran until January, 1981. In 1966, the "Dick Tracy" show ended a five-year run and Ray hosted "Rocket to Adventure" for two-seasons.

"Ray Rayner and His Friends," which aired weekday mornings, featured cartoons, songs, pantomime antics, jokes, riddles, mock newscasts and daily weather forecasts geared to the younger set, as well as traffic, sports and news information for parents. Ray's canine puppet friend Cuddly Dudley visited the program twice a week, and one day a week was set aside for a "do-it-yourself project." Ray showed his young viewers how to make everything from pup pencil holders, to mushroom pincushions, to stocking mice. Once a week Dr. Lester Fisher, director of the Lincoln Park Zoo, and Ray took viewers behind-the-scenes at the zoo. Chelveston the duck was also a regular visitor to the show. Any off-camera staff or crew was referred to as "Chauncy."

Ray left Chicago television in 1981 and became a weather forecaster and fill-in news anchor for the CBS affiliate in Albuquerque, New Mexico until 1989. In his "spare time," Rayner hosted the nationally syndicated "PM Magazine," and wrote three original plays. In 1984, he returned to Chicago to join the cast of "Guys and Dolls." He made several guest appearances as himself on "The Bozo Show" and in WGN-TV anniversary specials.

Born in New York City, Ray was a navigator on a B-17 in the United States Air Force and spent two years in a German military prison camp. He picked up a taste for acting during his POW days and pursued the profession during his college years following the war.

After the war, Rayner returned to a Long Island radio station, and he started to work his way west to Dayton, Ohio, then Grand Rapids, Michigan. He hosted music and quiz programs and wrote some news. In 1953 he found himself in Chicago, auditioning at WBBM-TV. There, Rayner worked for eight years on a variety of children's shows including "Rayner Shine," "The Little Show" with a duck named Havelock, and in "Popeye's Firehouse," as Chief Abernathy. He had an active career as a commercial announcer and as an MC on a teenage dance party program. He was also one of the first Ronald McDonalds to appear in network television commercials.

Throughout much of his career, Ray Rayner also acted on the serious side of theater, playing demanding roles in such productions as Arthur Miller's "The Crucible," "Assassination, 1865," "The Rainmaker,"and "The Caine Mutiny." He also appeared in lighter productions such as "The Odd Couple" and "Fiddler on the Roof." Reaching out to younger actors, Rayner directed students in Loyola Academy productions.

Rayner attended Holy Cross College in Worcester, Mass, and then went on to Fordham University in New York where he graduated with a B.A. degree in literature and philosophy. He also received an M.A. in Humanities from the University of Chicago. Ray was the recipient of many awards including local Emmy Awards, and most recently, in 2000, Rayner was inducted into the Chicago Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences' Silver Circle.

Mr. Rayner was most recently enjoying his retirement in Fort Meyers, Florida. He is survived by his second wife Marie Rayner, daughter Christina Miller, son Mark Rayner, and four grandchildren: Troy, Hilary, Sean and Patrick.

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the problem with the way ive set up this blog is that sometimes i have a cool picture that i want to post so i have to write enough of godknowswhat that will sorta match up with the picture, but what if i only have a few lines to say about it, then what, then do i just drone on and on so that the text can make it around the picture and "look good", or do i change the subject to something completely unrelated to the first few paragraphs and try to play it off as punk rock.

everyone knows you cant be punk rock in a blog.

sally was a pretty girl but hid it. i didnt even see it till she unzipped her army jacket unbuttoned her flannel and pulled up her stooges shirt. i unsnaped her three clasped fredricks number like that and suddenly i was surrounded. before midnight i was alone again and thinking of what to write to you cuz if i wrote about it right away i was afraid that she'd think that she couldnt trust me, that shed think that everything we did together would get recorded photographed documented and posted, immediately.

she was a writer from back east. flew out here and rented a motorcyle. i said nice canvas bag, she said its hemp, i said i love you. she said yes but i love you. she said whats punk about tsar i said the pink one stars she said isnt it gay i said gay is ten percent punk is one percent and tsar are the kings of the school.

she said what about the corvids, i said the corvids were not only last years best album but the most interesting surprise next to the polyspronic spree or whatever theyre called.

she asked why do men like plaid miniskirts so much do you think and she recrossed her legs and i caught a glimpse of her tartan and she said is there a reason and i said plaid has a lot of things going on in it. youve got a thick stripe going that way and a see thru line going this way and a thin line going going through all of them. and then of course you get that sweet territory known as the thigh

she said do you like pale girls

i said i love pale girls

she said whats the coolest thing youve seen this week and uncrossed her legs and leaned closer to me

and i said the peanuts gang dancing and singing to outkast.

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caption this, please

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being 110 years old has its advantages. for one, i know who captain kangaroo is, and i know what a loss it is for him to have died today.

adios, captain kangaroo. tell mr. greenjeans hi for me.

i have several dream jobs. one of them is to tour around the usa and blog and meet all of you.

another dream job would be to win the lottery and put it all on black in vegas and with the winnings buy the chicago cubs baseball team and be their manager and lead them to an overdue world series victory. duh.

but my most secret of all dreams is to have a morning chidrens tv show similar to what the good captain had except it would feature live bands.

so i would so something like show a cartoon, come back from it and say, oh man deputy dog, god i love that cartoon, ok kids and now behind curtain number 8 is ... GREEN DAY!

and they would rock out for a few minutes and we'd break for commercial.

im thinking the show would be the Cartoon Network's answer to the Today show.

thats what im thinking.

over my little chair would hang three photographs of childrens programming

mr. ray rayner, my idol

mr. fred rogers, rest in peace

and captain kangaroo

who i hope is listening to some new hendrix tunes tonight.

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hello good people of NYC and Toronto and Montreal!

as you know, i know people of all walks of life.

i even know some Market Researchers.

recently one of them asked if i had any young toronto, nyc, or mtl readers, and i was all, duh.

so she asked if she could put this proposition in my blog and i was all, of course

so here it is

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am looking for people to let me and some researcher/co-workers TAG ALONG with them.

We are looking for the following people:

* Someone to TAG ALONG with on a night out with friends (you get $175 and one of your friends will get $50!)

* Someone to TAG Along with before and after a sporting event � for example, maybe you have a soccer game that we can talk to you before and after (you get $175!)

* Someone to TAG ALONG with during a study group or club meeting � for example, with you and your study buddies the night before an exam, or maybe a book club meeting (you get $175 and one friend gets $50!)

* Someone to TAG ALONG with on a date � don�t worry, not a FIRST date! But how about something relatively new, something in the first month of a relationship (your date will get $50!)

In order to qualify, you must live in New York City or Toronto and you must be between the ages of 16 and 22 (unless you live in Toronto- you can be as old as 25).

Please keep in mind that we would like each of these TAG ALONGS to take place during the last week of January.

We are also looking for one person in Montreal between the ages of 16 and 21 to make a 25 minute unedited documentary for us! This documentary is due to us by Tuesday, January 27th, so let me know if you are interested ASAP! This job pays $150!!!

If you or anyone you know fits any of the descriptions above, please email me at this secret email addy.

Thanks!

Liana

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one of the more interesting things about being african american is that most of us dont know which part of africa our forefathers are from.

me, i'm hoping i am a descendant of the country of Ghana who have recently been known for their creative approaches to coffins (pictured).

you only get buried once, hopefully, and when my time comes i definitely want to get put in something other than a plain olde pine box.

when i was a kid i used to draw coffins. different coffins. the one i decided that i wanted was a big red one that had a white bow around it. as if it was a present to the good Lord, in hopes that he would accept me into the promised land.

i was an odd child.

i have seen Kiss introduce their coffins, and folks from new zealand design colorful caskets, but nothing matches the ingenuity and whimsy of my brethren from the mothaland.

karisa came over last night but before she did she called and said she was at the package store and asked me what sort of beer she wanted to bring over.

i told her it all depended on what we were gonna have for supper.

she said she was thinking about kfc.

after i told her that i loved her

deeply

i thought of the great good luck i had that such a good friend was coming to my house with a twelve pack of the high life and a bucket of extra crispy for my undeserving ass.

and this morning i realized that i want to be buried in a giant kfc bucket.

made by the hands of my brothers in ghana.

we watched re-runs of surreal life and talked about the super bowl.

it was magical.

she ate a ton of chicken

and somehow she keeps a very nice shape.

so ive been told.

i didnt look at her all night.

happy one year blog birthday BUNNIE!

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hi innernet

hi tony.

whatcha doin?

growing.

yeah.

what cha doing?

trying to think of something to write.

why dont you tell us how great it is to live in hollywood california

nah

youre a nice young single man. healthy. smart. funny. rich. brave. handsome. hung. im sure you have some stories to tell.

god i love you Internet.

come on, tell us how warm it is there today!

i did wear a flannel. but yeah, i guess it was warm.

see! now tell us about something fun that happened there today. in hollywood. land of celebrities and rock stars.

hmmm.

surely something fantastically glamorous happened that you would want to share with the blogosphere. come now.

stars.. hmm. i dont want to say nothing happened great. maybe it did. i have a terrible memory...

you're letting me down, bro.

i almost got hit by a jaguar this morning.

see, thats good! what year?

it was new. dealers plates.

oh... the ones that look like tauruses?

no no, this was from beverly hills jaguar, it was big and fancy.

Perfect tony Perfect!

yeah.

although, maybe you should have let him hit you.

it was a woman driving.

whatever, you woulda gotten rich!

dont they just pay for your broken legs or whatever?

pain and suffering, bro. pain and suffering!

shit.

i know!

shit.

i know

my fortune today said you will be rich and famous. fucker. pretty girl smiled at me. work was hard. lunch was fast. barely had any time even to take one fifteen minute break and i have this thing in my head that says that if i cant finish the work that somehow it was my fault. people have capacities too. dont we? you cant put a gallon and a half of milk into a gallon jug. and if you do you dont blame the jug.

sick thing is i love the fact that this job is so impossibly hard, so thankless, and so low paying.

i love it because the whole time my fro is as big as it can be, im wearing my corvids tshirt, im getting smiled at by the pretty girls, and my savings account just gets larger and larger, slowly, and the people who dont want me happy can only shrug while under their breath call me a fucking dumbass.

they watch me climb on the bus and i whisper who's the dumbass now and i show the driver my monthly pass.

and old death is whistling at me from down a super long dark hallway with his come hither finger saying youre only getting older when are you going to grow up sellout and be mine and the oriental rugged floor sprinkled with opened condom wrappers athletic socks and newspapers says was someone speaking i swear i coulda heard someone say something ridiculously ignorant

lets change the world says the lamp

on the maxims

next to the greasy

knocked over

bucket

of extra crispy kfc

chickens

mike ro soft + mike rowe soft + pooh

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as some of you know theres been some disturbances in the hollywood metro area that the xbi may or may not have been involved in. so i havent had a chance to write and say hi.

hi.

and as we were breaking for a late lunch my buddy back at the home base patched me into my favorite channel E! who was doing a live breaking news thing telling the world that Ben and Jen have officially called it quits.

excuse me, fuck ben and jen

hes no actor hes a pretty boy east coast welch wanna-be masshole sally who is only getting some of the sweetest ass in film because of his girlfriend matt damon.

and she got dirty with puffy and eminem and that dancer dude and now this guy?

come.on j.lo

w.t.f.girl

jennifer lopez has the world in the palm of her hand. she can sing she can dance she can act well enough to be an actor. shes hot. she can do it all.

she might even be bilingual.

she can do far better than benlo who goes to strip shows before his socalled wedding.

and he might be gay.

which theres nothing wrong with, but im just saying.

why is he gay? cuz he had j and he didnt say yes when he coulda. like hes gonna get anything better. like he deserves anything bettter. like he gets uptight that his woman has a bigger pair than he does.

i got two words for you bengay,

daredevil.

im glad they broke up.

i just hope it isnt a huge fakeout so they can go get married in bermuda when nobodys lookin.

mc brown is ready for his closeup + welch + eonline

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do you know i love you? i do. why wouldnt i? sure youre a fuck up, and sometimes mean. and sometimes impatient and stubborn and fugly and dumb and anxious and talentless and dull, but hi, who do you think youre talking to?

i bowled today loved ones. i bowled my damn ass off and i got drunk. im in a traveling xbi league. this week we played at an alley in santa monica where the rat pack used to hang out in, upstairs, who have bottles of bud that looks like bowling pins. a lane karisa and her roommate and i bowled at many moons ago and where i once took a date when i was 18 and new to cali.

three games we played and they had a little thing going on where if the head pin was red during the third game and you rolled a strike they would buy a round for your team.

well, the xbi might be a group of cynical reckless overtalented superheroes who have lost the will to give a fuck, but we like to bowl. we had about 30 people there representing. and our group was a little slower than the others and we could hear this group and that group cheer and gasp when someone on their team had a chance for the free round and either got it or didnt do it.

the team we were up against were former crips from long beach. they had none of the fundamentals that are so necessary for a good score. but one of the wonderful things about bowling is that on any given frame, anyone can get a lucky strike.

anyone.

and sure enough, bro gangbanger named smurf, who slopped his way through two subpar games hiked up his sean jean baggy shorts and his team watched him and he stumbled to the line and then over it and the ball curved slightly and

erruption.

free beer for the lbc.

it was nice.

i started with a 117 but that was only cuz the homies brought this tight little thing who had a back shelf you could put your boom box on if you wanted to listen to the lakers win.

second game i got four strikes in a row and then laid off to coast into a 171.

respect is everything.

third game second frame there it was for me

red head pin.

i was using two balls, just like how the pros roll

i had my 8 pound gold beauty lane ball that i paid $20 for at the eagle rock lanes.

i was also with my 11 pound real ball that i "won" off pioneer spiffs when i used to sell tvs at sears.

that one was blue.

old blue was reliable and strong but in order to prevent soreness in my pitching arm ive been using the girlie gold'n which youd think would be pleasurable to whip down the lane like a maniac but in truth its (lack of) weight allowed it to be soft tossed half way down the lane for remarkable accuracy since very little rolling was involved and therefore less chance of change of direction.

basically you were playing darts or bozo buckets.

171, bitches, and it coulda been 2 if i hadnt been completely showing up hardened south central gang members in front of their heavilly drinking

and losing

brothers

so there was the red pin and i got the gold ball and tossed it far and they all went down

except one.

fuck
r

i had fun. we all had fun. i think our team was winning. whatever.

seventh frame there was that red pin again.

everyone gathered round and the thing is you had to get the lane manager to watch to verify it and that took forever and i was holding the ball and i was losing my buzz but if theres one thing i love its pressure.

got the old big ball cuz they say that the light ones dont give you the pin action and the heavier ball didnt ever feel heavy tonight

and it started on the right and it slurved to the left and hit the head pin on the left and they went down

and the cheering was great

and the man asked for my drink

and bar rum is one thing but bowling alley rum

it didnt matter though

and now i love you.

dehumidifier + capt. scurvy + spitcircle + and vanmega made a bowling photo essay

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walking to the xbi today a bullet whistled past me and i didnt even look up. why give them the satisfaction? i didnt shoot back cuz some people want us to take them out and i only take out tall blondes.

this month.

but often i think to myself what am i doing here. how did i get in this situation. how is this happening again.

it doesnt matter if its a great situation or a crappy situation i always feel the same way and i always say the same thing. its never why me, its how did i get here.

crazy thing is i never seek this stuff out. it just happens. i came to the xbi to fly chopper one, true, but i thought being thousands of feet above the "action" would keep me away from the gnarliness, but its so not true. youre in the middle of the damn mess. youre the quarterback in a way, you see everything and its your job to not only direct whats happening but position yourself so the robotic cams can see whats happening.

i hate to say it, but it blows.

then theres the women. theres far too many. theyre at work. theyre at the crib. theyre on the phone. theyre on the web. at 110 years old theyre not as mysterious and fascinating as they were when i was young dumb and full of but dont get me wrong i still love them but in the same way i feel about music or baseball cards or ikea. its nice when youre there playing around but sheesh.

had a great conversation with an ex girlfriend last night and she was all uptight about how she doesnt have a man and how lonely she feels and i used to feel that way about the ladies but thankfully thats gone. i prefer the company of women but im no longer ruled by the desire. i like to mess around but im no longer engrossed.

id much rather read and write and watch my tivo.

which is why i hardly ever get to do those things much.

cuz life isnt fair.

and it never was.

and in a few minutes im going to find that motherfucker who took that cheap shot at me. and introduce them to someone who still gets a thrill evening scores.

kate sullivan + lick + club the penguin

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this morning i started the new pete rose book . it's good. and it's surprisingly funny. the busses were crazy today. packed as always. the busdriver had a little situation where he was talking to himself. he had a cell phone thing on but he wasnt on the damn cell phone. people come up to me and ask me questions. some even smile. i keep thinking, wait, me? i look like scum in the morning. today i had a green flannel, a five dollar Los Angeles trucker hat, black cords that were baggy and wrinkled, a daypack, bags under my eyes, crazy wild fro sticking out from under the hat and going every whichway.

is this the way to wilshire and normandie?

who? me?

living in hollywood without a car is not only not a big deal, but yesterday it was perfect.

i walked a few blocks to sunset and stood at the busstop for a minute. then i decided to walk west to the next stop. a little circulation couldnt hurt the wheels, i thought. got to the next stop and noticed that i was in front of a church. inside the church there was a room where a dozen or so interesting looking characters were talking to each other.

after further review it looked like people who had just gotten out of jail

thats right,

people who looked sorta like me.

i didnt stare. i looked at the crosses carved into the wood and i wished i had gotten my camera out of my true loves car the other day. then the bus came.

we rode down to vine and i got out at the archlight and walked across the street and went right into the theater.

no parking to deal with. no doors needing to be locked. no remembering of what level your $23k debt was sitting.

i paid the $11 for my movie ticket without a care in the world.

barely drank my $3.50 soda

walked across the street after the movie and browsed karisas favorite store in the world: borders books.

picked up a deeply discounted calander with the rose book, paid and walked up to hollywood blvd looking at the stars in the sidewalk like a tourist.

ah yes, tony bennet, frank sinatra... wait Frank Sinatra! i looked around the dark barren sad little stretch of sidewalk on Vine where the chairman of the board's star sat and i kept moving. don knotts, cary grant, clark gable, michael landon

michael landon?

soon i was turning the corner on hollywood blvd and seeing that patrick swayze was going to be performing Chicago at the pantages for three weeks.

then i remembered that michael landon was on bonanza after all

decended into the subway and soon i was home.

today bob mould taught me that usa today has a blog! who knew they have had one for years! apparently im not hip.

hollywood walk of fame + amy + science blog

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i cant wait for hillary to take that fucker out. thats all i gotta say about that.

hot chick had plans to paint her nails with her best friend tonight.

its tough.

talked on the phone a bunch tonight when i got home. only ate a tv dinner. chicken parmasian. cost a buck. i worked twelve hours today. lots of people do at the xbi.

im getting tired of it.

if you knew how little i got paid youd think so little of me.

and then if you saw what i did for it, your mind would be blown.

i keep thinking what job i could have that would be better and i think any job would be better. then i think what job would hire me and i think

nobody would hire me.

i got a ride home today cuz it was so late and i passed a school and i thought, school teachers arent still at school till nine pm and i thought sure they are, theyre grading homework and shit.

but our youth is what its all about, isnt it?

what if our president had actually been raised right? what if he had even one really good teacher that could have taught him that you cant get on tv and say

"this economy is strong and getting stronger"

when youre in the midst of the biggest deficit of all time.

i hear the voices of my old teachers all the time.

sadly i hear the voices of the bad ones too.

maybe we dont make the difference in the planet that we wish we could, but in little ways we do make a difference.

george bush is a fucking retard and look at the little differences he makes.

some dumb numbers + welch + layne

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hi america. and canaduh. and the rest of the free world. i know, f the free world. what movie was that from. i just saw it again this weekend and now im forgettting it. momento. i have the worst momento.

but you know what i remember? i remember deals. and i had a deal with some people and most of them have kept their sides of the bargain and some are in the process of keeping and when those are done then new bargains can be put in place. how hard is that? seriously?

one thing im not so crazy about this generation is that people dont want to live by their word. and they want to try to boss people around. and they fight dumb fights and they fight them dumb. me, i hardly fight. some loooove to fight. omg do they ever. some love fighting so much that they enter into things that arent even fights just so i will pay attention to them. well those people should just chill cuz im not gonna pay attention to them cuz i barely have time to pay attention to the nice people, why should i waste whatever time i do have on the dumb? riddle me that. f the free world. still i dont know what movie that is.

people call me on the phone. i barely have any time to talk. people chat with me on the chat. some nice people. i dont have any time for them. some email me. some i actually get. i do my best to email them back. i dont lack time because im some super cool stud boy. i lack time because i get pulled at from all sides. i cant even catch up. do you have any idea what people think i am? they think i am something that im not. but i try to live up to it and its rough. especially when i am trying to be a good person. and to be honest kids, sometimes being good means living by example and being the epitome. and sometimes being good means keeping people to their word and i never told anyone exactly When i was going to live up to my end of the bargain but i did imply it would happen before the first issue came out and that issue isnt out yet so im still good so those people need to chill. unless they want to be considered something negative.

i dont want to consider anyone someone negative. i want to believe that the only bad people in the world are bad people. i want to think that people who share similar interests etc can see things for what they are: dumb. and that life aint nothing but bitches and money, but some people are so fake sensitive that they wouldnt even let you get away with that and you know what i say to those people. you know what i say to those people. i say f the free world to those people.

i dont like it when people who used to like me and what i write and would tell people to read me suddenly overnight draw up campaigns to try to fuck my shit. i dont like it when hangers on hang on to the negative. i dont like it when people who cant even pee straight come into my house and piss all over the floor because theyre not getting what they want at that time. heres what i suggest to them, if theyre not just attention whores jealous and angry that ten times the people read my shit than read their shit, they should then chill. as in chilly chill as in shut it as in cut it out as in clam up as in ixnay on the bullshitay.

or they can keep it up and be painted as phonies who really just want the attention that they cant get on their own shit.

but heres something that the people wont tell them but i will because i am not the evil empire that they want to pretend that i am. i am here to tell them that they can get the attention on their own shit if theyd only write and write and write and write and write on their shit. and work at it. and quit whining all the time and quit acting like theyre acting. i didnt get what i have here by putting comments on peoples pages. i got what i got here by typing words on my page.

if you dont want to type words on your page, write for lick.

just like you said you would.

which is why your name and link is up there.

and you know it. and the movie is called eight mile.

meanwhile i heart fragrant and wish she wrote more + treacher

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house of sand and fog
starring sir ben kingsley and jennifer connelly
dreamworks pictures

every once in a while its nice to see a real movie. one made by adults, for adults.

and once youre done with porn its nice to see a drama.

yesterday i took the 2 Sunset to the arclight theatres and paid my $11 at 4pm and saw the house of sand and fog, which is a slow, beautiful, delightful drama starring sksmith whose stage name is jennifer connelly.

sk acted wonderfully. sir ben acted incredibly. the woman who played sir bens wife was brilliant. it was all very believable and dramatic and the way movies should be.

two things made this movie great and i will tell you without ruining it for you.

the writing was airtight. by writing i dont mean delicious dialogue, i mean plot and storytelling. there arent any breathtakingly speeches, just normal conversations that happen in real life based around a swirling tale that could happen to anyone.

even you.

even me.

the plot, people. thats what movies should be about.

that and cinematography, and this film had the master of cinematography: Roger Deakins who did such good-looking films as o brother where art thou, a beautiful mind, the big lebowski, fargo, barton fink, sid and nancy, and the shawshank redemption.

afterwards i walked through hollywood in a great mood.

a wonderful mood.

thats what good movies are supposed to do for you.

in the greg vaine rating scale i give this a good good good good

jozjozjoz + sksmith + bitter tree

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i have found my leader. hes crazy and he knows the names of states. i dont know what he stands for but the republicans seem to fear him and thats enough for me.

is he coked up? probably. should he be? of course. is it right to elect a president for pure entertainment? isnt that why we voted for arnold?

hot girl got on the web cam today while i was trying to observe mlks birthday.

she said she wanted to show me her bosom.

i told her that first i wanted to show her my loins.

my loins photograph large and impressive.

so i fired up the cam and she fired up hers and there we were naked on the internet again.

i want that she typed.

it typed that it wanted her too.

she said but my ass is so big and my tits are so little.

and i put the camera up to my head and i said but im going bald

and she put the camera up to her head and she said but i havent gotten my roots did in weeks.

and i put the camera up to my face and squooshed my head back into my neck and i said but what about my double chin

and she put the camera up her thighs and complained of cellulite

so i lifted my shirt and said look at my spare tire

and its hairy!

she said you dont even know how adorable you are do you

i said you dont know how much i need you and lust you do you and she said no

so i let it type some things and she smiled

then i said come, come here

and she said ok.

and then she told me about some boy at work that she likes

all while topless

with her hand down in the darkness

and a leg up on an empty keg

wearing a busblog trucker hat

completely obvlivious that i was madly in love

with the internet.

bella ella + the ward + gods lonely man

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today in america, a lot of us are getting the day off to celebrate the birth of the Reverand Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the most important Americans ever.

his birthday was really on friday, but whatev. lots of people in america Don't get the day off at all. they work for companies who dont recognize the only federal holiday to commemorate an african american.

this year he would have been 75.

if he hadnt been shot

for saying, wtf, i thought we were in america.

mlk lived in a time when it wasnt unusual to get shot for what you said especially if you were saying things that would make life more even for blacks here in the home of the brave.

dr. king delivered his "i have a dream" speech to a quarter million people next to the reflecting pools in august of 1963, he was 34.

maybe one reason that some people have a hard time grasping the importance of mlk is that when many of us look back at the 60s we see it as a time of great change in civil rights and social acceptance, but the summer of '63 wasnt the summer of '69.

'63 was the year that valium was invented. a year that the andy williams show, the dick van dyck show, and walt disney's wonderful world of color were winning emmys in variety, comedy, and childrens programming respectively.

the most aggressive thing happening in music was that the beatles were writing i wanna hold your hand.

tony bennet and ella fitzgerald were winning grammys for best male and female solo vocal perfomance respectively.

the grammys named peter paul and mary the best group due to their hit, if i had a hammer.

so when martin luther king got on that podium and said that he had a dream of little black kids walking down the street holding the hands of little white kids, that was probably as punk rock as it got in those lilly white days before the civil rights act.

nowadays we cant even imagine a time when you needed federal laws to guaranteed equal rights in housing, public facilities, voting and public schools. that we would need a constitutional fine-tuning so that everyone would have impartial hearings and jury trials.

martin luther kings life and death remind us that there was such a time, not that long ago. in america.

the beautiful.

and less than two months after that speech. jfk was shot.

lee harvey oswald was shot two days after that.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning "My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and mole hill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of that old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last!"

oliver willis + american black + negrophile + bunnie mac + baldilocks + watch citizen king tonight on pbs

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The L Word
starring jennifer beals, mia kirshner, karina lombard, and pam grier
showtime, sunday nights

fuck this fucking show.

revolutionary? hardly. terrible tv shows have been on the air for years.

heres what the producers were given: hot young lesbians who like to have sex, a cable network that can show nudity, a public who is ready for a show that revolves around lesbians, and a public who has warmly embraced strong female sexuality in sex in the city as well as gays in will & grace and queer eye for the straight guy.

the bases are loaded, now bring that shit home.

unfortunately instead of blowing the lid off my tv, they deliver me a topless after-school special.

the biggest problem with the L Word is it's too adult, too meloncholy, too safe, too serious, too dull.

as exciting as thirtysomething, as dramatic as peeling potatoes, and as sexy as willard scott, The L Word sure shows tons of sex and lets us in on sex talk and we see hot chicks and steamy situations, but alas its as cold as an overnight with martha stewart.

i watched this thing twice today and the best i can figure their first priority was to keep it so dry in the pursuit of "credibility" that Joe Sixpack Fratboy Maxium Reader would be bored immediately.

mission accomplished.

so then why all the "lipstick"?

The L Word is as representative to lesbians as Cosby was to african americans. all the chicks are hot, all the guys are hot, all the sex is bland, all the conversations are about either lesbianism or sex or cosmo or getting pregnant or lesbianism or sperm or lesbianism.

meanwhile theres hardly any music playing anywhere, theres very little background noise, or atmosphere.

only showtime, who has a long history of making sex dull and disposable, could make the first lesbian tv series so unwatchable that im not sure i will tune in next week to see the (still) extremely sexy beals go down on her partner again.

besides the lifeless dialogue, the tone is depressingly somber.

did these lesbians get a hold of that type of weed that just knocks your ass out? they act as if theyre all getting root canals in the morning. they act as if they ran a marathon yesterday and they're still recovering.

the sole "straight" couple have such uninspired sex that you wonder if both of them arent gay. their sex is so unsexy that you could balance one of the glasses of merlot they're constantly draining on a pillow on their bed and it wouldnt tip over.

if i had a daughter and i wanted her not to be a lesbian, i would show her this tv program and tell her that all lesbians are this lethargic and emotionless and tired. and washed. and santa monican.

if the queer eye boys bounced into the L Word these women would have a damn heart attack. are they lesbo librarians in training? are they auditioning for npr shows? can they just sit back and have a laugh without it leading to sex or having to do with sex? just one laugh?

sex in the city may have been ridiculous and worthless and written by gay men for straight women, but at least it tried to keep things somewhat light and didnt completely take itself seriously at every turn. women i know who like the show totally Want to be one or more of those women on tv.

i cant imagine anyone wanting to be any of these sad fakers who seem only concerned with one thing:

boring the hell out of anyone who wanted to learn about this usually interesting world.

congratulations, we're bored.

a far more interesting lesbian story about "bois" in new york + after ellen is more forgiving

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of the great things that happened last year never did i expect to meet raymi. and yet i did.

often times i'll meet someone who i admire and i'll be let down or disappointed, which is why i dont try to seek out my heroes. over the years ive met rockers like the replacements, elvis costello, sonic youth, and tsar. i took my picture with hillary clinton when she campaigned for bill in 91, ive interviewed alan ginsberg and kim deal and black francis, i drove henry rollins around hollywood, and ive pumped the gas of lorraine newman adam ant don knotts and charles bronson.

but meeting raymi... shit. where was i?

deep down im terribly lazy. fellow libra andy warhol felt that he was lazy too. if raymi lived in la, i would get my lazy ass off this leather couch and get me a cable access tv show called bloggers and raymi would be my sidekick. why have there been no female sidekicks on talk shows? raymi could be and should be the first.

i love her. i do. i loved her before and i love her just as much now. she called me on new years and her name isnt really raymi but she knows i like to call her that so thats how she said hi. hi tony its raymi.

she has delusions of grandeur but theyre not so deluded. she should be famous. she should be a star. she is already. and she can write.

someone said something nice about me the other day. he listed all these people that i had turned him onto on the web and raymi was on that list. then someone else was talking about how women should write and they mentioned raymi. then someone else said what were my three favorite female bloggers and i said raymi and splinky and someone else and the person said does raymi still update and i said oh god yes.

it makes me mad that raymi isnt american.

it makes me sad that she doesnt live in la

it makes me happy everytime she writes

if i had a radio show on talk radio called bloggers raymi could call in from canaduh and teach us french swear words

since everyone up there speaks french.

raymi + anti + jaime + bob mould has a blog

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