Wednesday, January 12, 2005
 sometimes i'll turn the headphones off when im flying above the clouds and just let my own thoughts fill me for just a few minutes.
the kids back on earth arent so happy when i do this but its good to have a little me time when the shit gets especially hairy.
sometimes i think to myself, why am i here. not alive here but at the xbi here. sometimes i think theres a better something waiting for you, go get it.
sometimes i think what if theres a worse something waiting for me. nobody ever thinks that their future might be really horrible. but thats a possibility too.
but then i get back on earth and the bad guys are shooting at me with real live speeding bullets and i think, how could my future be any worse than this?
and the bullet that zips by me whispers, whats worse would be if i got you.
went into west hollywood last night and saw my buddy dylans band, shapes of race cars, who filled the place on a tuesday night in a swanky club where all the kids were so welldressed and beautiful that it seemed like a tv show.
the bartender made me the shortest baileys doubles but i rarely go out on a school night so i just had him setting me up with more so as to show my date for the night, who claimed that she could drink, that ive seen a few cocktails in my day.
in the mensroom a guy in a silver suit came up to me and said, if you want your mojo back meet me at the crazy bridge with a bag full of gold.
i stepped on his toe.
he said please remove your foot sir.
but i didnt. i looked at him. i memorized his eyes. the lines around his eyes. i looked at how his mouth was shaped. his teeth. dental work. i paid attention to how the hair grew in around his lips and cheeks.
he said youre creeping me out dude.
i said i didnt have any mojo in the first place but now i know who you are and i wont forget you and if you try to shake me down for anything, ever, i will fuck you up in strange and terrible ways.
and then i removed my foot and he tore ass out of the mens room like a cockroach when a light is switched on.
but yes, i do miss my mojo.
at least now i know its in safe hands.
i'd go get it tonight but i have to get karisa into the defamer party
and finish applying for grad school.
listen missy + mass live covers me covering ashleys bday + zulieka
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