tony + mary!
busblog at gmail dot com

nothing in here is true


   Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
it must suck to get no comments. it must suck to have no one read your blog.

it must suck to get never written about, or adored, or linked to, or gushed over.

it must suck to kneel at the feet of the elephant and have that wrinkly old fat cock to size up, to decide if you should lick its nuts first or work the head before it gets too large.

it must suck to be no longer a young man and still have no idea who you are or what you stand for.

but worse, it must suck not to be proud of who you are or what you stand for, so you lie and make shit up.

it must suck to live in ohio, painted in a corner, bound by bad decisions based in fear and marching to the beat of the half dead and mediocre. no more interesting than drew carey and certainly no more handsome.

it must suck to believe that you have what it takes to tell other people how to do something when its painfully clear that you possess none of the skills you allegedly teach.

you have no success, you have no audience, you have no new ideas, you have no discernible style, your fastball doesnt move, your curveball hangs, your sinker doesnt break and youre too fucking stupid to get it that you suck. which must suck.

but it must really suck to pretend that you have something against the world famous busblog when deep down you know its the shit and your first stop every day and each afternoon. and Lord knows it must suck to know that without it you would really have nothing to write about because you know as well as anyone, that unlike me, if you wrote about yourself and your rockstar life you'd have absolutely nothing to say which is why you continually steal from the master. poorly.

i grew up in the midwest so trust me i know what sucks and what the american dream is all about and where ignorance and fear come from. and ive lived a long time in california so trust me again when i tell you i know where innovation and creativity and sexiness and long legged all night fucking resides. no region holds all the trump cards and no region has the monopoly on stupidity, but ohio is sure doing its best to be the worst, so burn on big river burn on.

when i lived in illinois i enjoyed the people the most. i liked them because they were honest and geniune and they had their priorities straight. you didnt look at girls as pretty or rich or sexy because there werent any girls like that. those girls either moved to california or got knocked up in college and turned into moms overnight. instead you cherished personalities and spirit and chemistry and temperment. and since none of us dudes were brad pitt we were being judged on those traits as well.

but mostly i liked the honesty. if a girl you liked you there werent any games, she'd call you up and ask you to take her to the roller rink. and if she didnt like you she'd tell you to get lost.

similarily if a guy wearing a cub hat walked past a guy wearing a sox hat theyd each greet each other with a cubs suck and a sox suck and keep on walking. if anything the exchange merely put a smile on each others face because the truth was, back then, and now, that they both suck. fuck the scoreboard.

what has happened since i moved west as a young man is that ohio has started to lose its midwestern honesty. they fucked the blacks on the vote, then they didnt count 100k ballots, then they hid behind homeland security to cheat some more. but whats worse is now those who did vote for bush and can no longer hide their shame, make us try to believe that despite being probably the worst president ever they would vote for him again, twice, because they dont have what it takes to admit that they helped elect and then re-elect the biggest loser besides themselves.

and thats what probably sucks the worst.

so instead of blogging about real things like the life and death consequences of aiding and abetting this administration they choose to write about the straw man, the divinci code, and how this blogger isnt interested in reading it.

indeed, i have enough things piling up on my nightstand, if i wanted to thumb through hundreds of pages of fantasy, id crack open harry potter, likewise if i wanted to read about Jesus i'd continue reading the Good Book.

lost republicans, understandably, arent interested in the most important book of all time. "if you have two cloaks give one to someone with none" doesnt jibe too well with their brand of selfishness. loving each other the way Jesus loved us conflicts with their manifest destiny agendas and gitmo torture chambers. and living life in trust of the Lord as though you are guarenteed a richer treasure in heaven doesnt mix well with tax cuts for the rich and bloated military budgets that produce enough deadly weapons to blow up the planet many times over.

if i was a wannabe rich prince i suppose id rather read dan brown than matthew 19:21 too. just like if i was a wannabe blogger incapable of producing a readable "how to ..." id be jocking the busblog every day and every night even after you swore it was just a trainwreck and full of shit and beneath you.

it must suck to realise that nothing is beneath you because theres nothing worse than a blind man lost in his own lies. except i suppose a limped dicked bloggrrr driving a minivan who'd vote for w again and again like a robot and not at all like a man because omg what would you tell your daddy

while "living" in ohio.

and yes it must suck not to get linked at the end, but i dont send my readers to bullshit, and for that theyre grateful.

cub fan diving through piss + red states forever + who we're supposed to be afraid of

Previously on busblog...