..................................................tonypierce.com

ashley says please dont say nuthin bad about the war or the people or the president or osama bin laden i say but i hafta, its sorta my job. she says but you dont even get paid for it, i say ah who cares about getting paid for stuff, if someone pays you then they think you owe them somehow, i got enough problems. then she says just this one time, please dont and i say ok, but the thing is, i wasnt gonna say shit anyway. one thing i learned back during the persian gulf war was that true pacifism is a complete absence of war and back then i rode a skateboard and had a levi jacket and i protested the war and wrote scathing columns in the college paper, and basically was part of the war in my opposition, i was waging a hippie jihad and i didnt even know it.

so no anti war diatribes, no sermons about peace, no snide remarks about our president.

i'd love to write about how the cubs are going to go all the way but that doesnt seem all that plausible. i'd love to write about how great the new mariah carey movie is but no one will go with me. i'd love to write about how great the last episode of big brother 2 was, but none of you watch it.

fbi stories dont really seem like the best idea at this point, since everyone is paranoid as hell and the real fbi agents actually have a shit ton on their plates.

if there is a silver lining beneath this horrible tragedy is that two things have happened, ashley informs us, number one, hotels in vegas are begging for visitors and their rooms are dirt cheap due to the fact that nobody is flying-in to party in sin city. theyre scared to stay at new york, new york. or at Paris - cuz the Eiffel Tower is so tall, and they're totally scared to stay at the Stratosphere - cuz the whole damn place is too tall.

and, she tells me, rentacars are super low priced cuz no one is flying which means no one is renting cars at the airport. so she says come visit me come visit me.

and i say only if you'll see "Glitter" with me and she says ha! no.

my astrology says that this week the nights are as long as the days and all will be perfect harmony and since libras are the masters of harmony, this week we'll figure it all out. and i'll tell you, maybe if there's one asshole who deserves to get blown in a million peices, it's the guy who fucked shit up so much that thousands died and baseball and football and the stock market and the economy and travel and mellowness and tv all got screwed too.

all i ask is they do it quick. this, "it's gonna be a long war," is bullshit excuses. find the pussies and tcb. i'll do the same.