gotoveronyourgirliecuzyouknowsheneversaysno //

billy corgan a few years back asked us to tell him all our secrets howve you done on that assignment? well since billy hasnt written anything good in a while i figured that for christmas i would write you about my secret recipe to a perfect garden. as many of you know, i used to be a traveling salesman for some pretty big electronics companies. my territory was, at first, much of southern california, and then later, all of northern california. even when i got traded to the start-up i still had pretty much the same territory and pretty much exactly the same clients, so i built some very strong relationships. one day i was in fresno. when in fresno i always stayed at the Raddisson on Shaw Avenue. Do you wanna know why? it was because in every room they had wallpaper on the walls with ducks on it, and they had a little shelf with books over the color tv. Sometimes i would be in Bakersfield and it would be late and the good thing about that town is you can stay at the Red Lion for less than $75 but like i was saying sometimes i would drive all night for those stupid books. now dont get sick, these were just dumb paperbacks and a few hard

covers which I am sure they got at a thrift store, it didn't matter. it was a nice touch and it was appreciated. i felt very comfortable in those rooms and after a while the girls would put me in the same room when they'd recognize me and i'd say, actually, id prefer a different room. i like the books. one valentines night i found myself alone in fresno and i gotta tell you it was a bummer. not only was there no true love to share the evening with but the Shaw Avenue Raddison was booked! Full! i had to go to the Motel 6!!! the good news about being a Christian is that my favorite book of all is in each and every motel room in America so i figured, fine, obviously it's a good idea to read some Proverbs or something but alas, no bible in the room! so i went to the movies. how lame, i know, going to the movies alone on valentines day. i chose the romantic comedy While You Were Sleeping starring Miss Sandra Bullock, one of the few hollywood actresses who does not call me incessantly begging me to see them in their lingerie. of course the film was wonderful, why wouldn't it have been. but standing next to my brand new Ford Taurus underneath the glorius central valley moon was a mysterious pair indeed. i saw a big white cow standing next to a farmer holding a huge bag of shit. im such an idiot that for a minute i thought he was the cops.


close your eyes and floor it








close yr eyes