when they make the story of my life make sure they dont get somebody too handsome and make sure that they dont get distracted by the sex and the drugs and all the good music, and instead make sure they focus on the luck.

im the luckiest man alive.

i tell you this today since it is now the month of gemini, an idealistic month where shit changes every damn day; but this is something that never changes: there is good news and bad news about Luck and the good news is is that it exists and the bad news is that sometimes your luck will be bad.

and i mean Bad.

you will never hear me whine or complain or talk shit about whoever's in charge of luck because i know that luck is what happens when God takes a coffee break.

her name is ashley and i have
no business even knowing her name.

the epitome of youth and beauty, the role of ashley should be played by the hottest teen actress that you can find. when they talk about getting lucky or lady luck or luck is a lady tonight make sure that whoever plays this hottie has a perfect body and the finest hair you can either create, discover, or purchase. since everything has a price.

good luck, however, is priceless.

bad luck is like getting blindsided by a semi while riding a big wheel at a picnic - theres no way you coulda known it was coming, you couldta prepared, and it probablyll never happen again. but heres the good news, it's mathematically exactly the opposite as good luck so dont get your undies in a bunch.

pessimists bore me, they'll read about someone having some bad luck and they'll make it the basis of their existence. they'll tell you how the world is fucked cuz some shit went down and i say experiment on rats all you want because theres nothing more pessimistic than a rodent and how many times you seen a pessimist get his cock sucked by a busload of cheerleaders? or by even one cheerleader. or at all?

people suck off those that they want something from and if you saw the pam and tommy lee video then you'll understand not only the above theory but this one too: certain people will go into your house and steal your most intimate shit and sell it and it will become the hottest property of all time and there isnt shit that you can do about it. and thats bad luck. and betraying a pal will get you a one way trip to the darkest circle of dantes inferno because it truly is the most fucked thing you can do to someone.

and heres the best thing you can do, but you know this already: if good luck nibbles at your ear, close your eyes and let it all in. not because it's fleeting, cuz it's not. let it in cuz it's your turn and lord knows you've probably waited long enough,

so enjoy.