even though i've got about three weeks left before i move out of this dark little apartment, i have already begun sorting through boxes too important to part with but not so important enough to peek at, so they collect dust in our storage space in the garage. of course there were all of the old college newspapers that always seem to contain something new that i never realised, which is odd because each paper was, on average, only twelve pages. and of course i found notebooks full of really mediocre stories and poems, and i found two or three decent poems... but probably the best thing that i found were these old lust letters from this gurl who i used to correspond with back in the day via AOL. this hot babe at this sword fight once asked me if it was possible to fall in love with someone you havent ever met and i thought about this email/chat experience that i had some 7 years ago and i said, yes, definately. the fellas at the party didnt know what to say, but she disagreed with me and that's fine. and i suppose it all depends on what your definition of love is, but i think love is something that makes you crazy happy inside and makes you think about that person all the time and the difference between love and lust is you dont want their hot bods, you want them, and you want them for who they are, not for who you think they are or who you want them to be but for them.so i guess the next question should be, can you really tell who someone is through their emails


  and aol chats and telvephone calls and letters and pictures and i think they can as long as they were being truthful. see it's so funny to me how people think that you could hate someone easilly and quickly but love is somehow something so elusive and magical and complicated ... because it's so, gasp, special. well, yeah, it's special. it's special because you dont just stumble across people everyday who you want to take on a carriage ride through the country even though she demands that she bring her catlike dog. similarilly i dont end up hating people every day. but the magical part of love is when the other person also is in that space and is ready to take that ride with you and that person is nuts for you too. well miss seven years ago did things like kissed her envelopes with lipstick and drew an outline around her hands to show me how big they were and sent me baby pictures and letters from her dead friends and wrote up lists of boys that she kissed and me, you know me, nothing much creative. all i did was took one of her emails and put it word-for-word into my poetry book... and if that aint love... oh for the days when all you had to do was tip your top hat and worry if your bowtie was lookin alright. oh for the future when the audience will decide your fate and the audience is right a lot more than we are. one day we will get right back ontop of our horses and ride to the castle and sit at the table in the great room and the king will hold his chalise and announce to the guests that his daughter has chosen a suitor for that month and it is sweeps week so you know she'll wearing some outrageous outfits so you hope its you and when he says your name you cannot believe it, but yeah, thats youre name and now its time to show them what you can do and all you can do is say is i dont know what to say. let's get lost. and go gauchos.