|
ry
 aray
lewis called. i
was all dude, congratulations.
he was all, thanks. i said, bro, you seem
low. he said yeah, im sure you heard, they left me off the wheaties box.
i said, yeah, and what's up with letting Dilfer say that he was going
to Disney World. he said no shit. i was mvp of the game, mvp of the playoffs.
defensive player of the year. everything. why would they put five guys
on the box that no body knows. i said because youre a tough black man
who was accused of murder. not guilty mothafucka, not guilty. i was all,
i know, but ask oj, people don't care any more. i said, ray, do you even
eat wheaties? he said no. i said does ray ray eat wheaties and he said
no. i said then fuck wheaties and fuck disney world you took your bullshit
fucked up team and marched them into the playoffs as a wildcard, you won
all the playoff games on the road including stomping my adopted team,
tha raidas, in oaktown, and then you stomped the giants in the super bowl.
you are the man and you dont need a big fairy rat to tell you that, and
you dont need a bullshit cereal that doesnt even have any prizes in it
to tell you shit. you are one of the finest middle linebackers ever. personally
i dont want my middle linebackers on cereal boxes or telling me that they
want to be spinning around in the tea cup ride. i want my linebackers
hurting people and scaring little children, and if you scare some balding
white executives who's entire ad campaign is to jump on the bandwagon,
then i say good. if you want i'll roll with you down to general mills
and we can pay a little visit to them and i'll introduce you to whoever that asshole is. you'd do that for me? of course i would, ray. thanks partna. so how are you sonny? well i got left off the wheaties box too. plus rene doesnt like my website any more. how could she, all it is nowadays is hot girls calling you up blah blah blah. so. so i like it, the fellas like it, but your soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend isnt gonna like it. but its fake. its not fake, playa. thats why she doesnt like it. duh. ray lewis you didnt just say duh. yes i did. and when are you gonna put some sistas on your page, 'sup with that? im saving it up for black history month, stay tuned. |