i shoulda known that it was gonna be cool when i didnt get a card on fathers day. late november the cops
knocked on my door saying i was being accused of being the dad of a ten year old girl. i was all, uh, no.
so i called the number on the complaint. they said, oh, just keep calling this number. so i did. turns out
the best thing i coulda done was call my attorney friend - or read the paperwork - all of it. and the
worst thing i coulda done was obey the ones accusing me. so after 60 days, of course, i had
been deemed through default judgment the father! apparently when the court wants
you to fill out paperwork you have to do it or they can say you're someones dad!
so today me and my attorney flew to frisco. we finally got to see the description
of the real Anthony Pierce who sired the young lady and he is 6'1" 190! i have
never been so happy to be 5'9" 140. so they set aside the judgment
said i could get a dna test here in la and wished us a happy voyage back home.
lessons: talk to your lawyer friends even if they are entertainment lawyers.
read the papers sent to you by sheriffs arriving at 6am.
use condoms. be careful what you wish for cuz the judge might make is so.
and whatever tony pierce out there who's six foot one who had relations
ten years ago while i was falling in love with jeanine: take care of your kid.
1 more note, southwest airlines: fucks. if you have 2 people who want to go home. and
it's 3:30 & they have a flight at 6pm, and your flight at 3:30 has empty seats, & your
4pm and 4:30 flights have empty seats. let them on the plane. dont try
to charge them an extra $75 each. you look like cocks. ugly cocks.









thanks kim!