TP: I also like country music.
GC: Pardon me?
TP: The old stuff. Hank Sr., Johnny Cash...
GC: Patsy Cline
TP: Of course. Bill Monroe, Willie, Waylon.
GC: Have you heard Hank III?
TP: Yep, love it.
GC: What's that scary place?
TP: That's the Ambassador Hotel. It used to be the coolest place in town.
GC: Oh , where Robert Kennedy was shot?
TP: Yeah, a lot of cool shit happened there too, though.
GC: Sometimes some places just sort of etch themselves into history for being infamous.
TP: Yeah, like Ceres, California
GC: OK, that was enough chit-chat, I heard you were peeing blood?
TP: There was one drop of blood in my urine, I went to the doctor and he said it was due to my kidneys. My kidneys like to create stones.
GC: Wow, is that dangerous?
TP: I don't know, probably.
GC: What do you do about it?
TP: Kiss girls quick before i die.
GC: No about the stones.
TP: Nothin. Drink water. Testify.
GC: Do kidney stones hurt?
TP: The first one will make you cry. The second one will make you angry.
GC: And the third one?
TP: The third one will make your pee turn red.
GC: What can be done about this horror?
TP: That's the thing about modern medicine - nothing. Doctors cant cure a cold, or prevent kidney stones. All they can do is collect money and cancel appointments with you!
GC: How do you feel about dentists
TP: There's something you should do. Every man. Every man should get their plumbing checked regularly. Our bodies are pretty low-maintence when compared to women. So we really shouldnt get surprised like Frank Zappa and suddenly discover our nuts have cancer. It's silly. I don't care what your symptoms are, if you ever feel like something is even somewhat wrong down there, go get it checked.
GC: Did they make you go to a Urologist?
TP: Yeah, shoved his finger up my ass. It was the most disgusting moment in my life. Fortunately I lived nearby so I could wipe the gobs of KY out of me. But guess what, my dick and my nads are now good as new. No one ever promised that life would never be incredibly gross.
GC: How much was your co-pay?