tony + mary!
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nothing in here is true


   Monday, June 09, 2003  
[ ring ring ] hi tony, are you still mad at me?


im glad at least that youre talking to me.

im not talking to you, its just hard to have a bloggy dialogue with just one person talking.

im sure you could figure it out. i always thought you were an amazing writer.

flattery, anna, in this case, wont get you anywhere.

well this is a first.

insulting me isnt going to get you anywhere either.

tony, please. lets be adults about this. im in love. you always told me you wanted me to be in love. even if it wasnt with you.

yes but i didnt Mean it.

i asked you to be my boyfriend a million times but you said it wouldnt work out.

i said it wouldnt work out until after you retired from tennis! i didnt say it wouldnt ever work out. and i certainly didnt expect you to go get married just because i wasnt going to be your boyfriend for a few years. now youre probably just going to retire, spread your legs for enrique and crank out a couple hundred cuban kids.

ok, number one, fuck you tony. number two im in love. number three youre disgusting and he isnt even cuban. number four im not retiring any time soon nor am i having any children any time soon.

shove your nors and your mexican has-been right where the sun doesnt shine. which will be difficult with you, anna, cuz ive seen you sunbathe and the sun shines everywhere.

i dont know why you have to be so mean about this. i dont remember you being mean to your other ex girlfriends. infact all you ever do is talk about how much you love them and how great they are and how much you all get along.

they never ran off with some limp wristed busboy with a zit on his cheek.

omg! you dont even know enrique. how can you say these things?

i could ask you the same question.

what question?

i could ask you how you could frigging MARRY someone who you dont even know.

i know him, tony. quit being jealous. and i love him. and what i do in my life is no longer any of your bees wax.

i give it four months.

dont be so cruel! why would you say that? enrique and i will last forever.

no, i give your tennis career four months, then you will retire. i give your fake marriage three months. then you will get pregnant then he will divorce you because he's gay and knows that he didnt do that to you, and then you will come running to me to be your babys daddy, but im not going to do it.

i hate you tony.

and i hate you anna. youve broken my heart. ive given you all the freedom in the world and you just spit in my face.

listen to you "i let you..."

i Did let you. every other motherfucker would have blown a gasket with you galavanting around. dating this guy, being in that guy's video. i was never jealous i never talked shit, in fact all i ever did was support you, especially when you were down (which has been most of your career) and especially during your latest injuries and most especially during that penthouse thing.

i knew you would use all that against me.

no one is using anything against you. i was there for you and what did you do to reward me, you got married to a one hit wonder. to some dudes son. why didnt you just marry george bush.

george bush is married, tony.

so youre saying you... forget it. its over. dont ever call me again. dont talk to me. dont email. dont write. keep the carrier pigeons, keep the cds, keep everything.

i see you have taken me off your blog thing.

and i have rubbed you from my heart.

i dont care what you say, i will continue to be your friend no matter what. even though youre being so mean to me. i love you and i always will, tony.

i hope he comes out on your honeymoon.

hello, this is our honeymoon and he has come, but not out. thank you.

only cuz hes thinking of rupaul.


flagrant the agent + treacher + gunge

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