Q. How often do escalators break down?
A. All the time.
Q. How often did you break down?
A. About once a month.
Q. How come?
A. Mostly from shit that would get stuck in me.
Q. What sort of shit?
A. You name it: coins, combs, newspaper, gum, diapers, wood, knives, papers cups, bones, socks, hair clips, pencils.
Q. People still use pencils?
A. Kids do.
Q. Weird.
A. Uh huh.
Q. Do the drunks pee on you?
A. Funniest thing that ever happened was once this drunk guy, not a homeless man, just a drunk guy, sat down on me for the ride up and he fell asleep and this cop put his foot on his gut and he instantly pissed his pants.
Q. Cops suck.
A. Yeah, pretty much.
Q. So when was the last time they worked on you?
A. Right around the 4th of July.
Q. Why did they stop?
A. It was the 4th of July.