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nothing in here is true

 


   Friday, July 26, 2002  
guest blogger: Dawn Olsen
Truth, Lies and Digitalcams

First there was�.

Dawn: Wow, I..can�t..believe..I..am..talking..to..Warren Zevon!!
WarrenZevon: What was your name again?
Dawn: Dawn. Do you have a blog? I bet it would be so cool if you did.
WarrenZevon: A what? Hey could you, um, give me a little more personal space please.
Dawn: Sure, sorry about that. Wow, I..can�t..believe..I..am..talking..to..Warren Zevon!!
WarrenZevon: What was your name again?
Dawn: Uh, Dawn?

And of course�.

Dawn: Matt�Welch. Wow, I..can�t..believe..I..am..talking..to..Matt Welch!!
Matt: Um, yes you are. How are you doing?
Dawn: Really great. You are just as cute in person.
Matt: Um, thanks? And you too. (looking around feverishly for Emmanuelle)
Dawn: Matt�Welch. Wow, I..can�t..believe..I..am..talking..to..Matt Welch!!
Matt: Hey, it�s great meeting you too. I think I see Doc Searles, talk to you later.
Dawn: Ok, bye Matt.

Sadly�.

Dawn: Tony Pierce. Wow, I..can�t..believe..I..am..standing..next..to..Tony Pierce!!
Tony: Hi Dawn. It�s really nice to meet you.
Dawn: [gawks obnoxiously]
Tony: I really enjoy yours and Eric�s blog.
Dawn: [still gawking]
Tony: Okay, I am going to go and talk to some girls now. Great meeting you.
Dawn: [still gawking] can�t�speak�too�stunned.

Then another�.

Dawn: So you are Nigel Dick. What do you do?
Nigel: Oh, just some video stuff, probably nothing you have heard of.
Dawn: Try me?
Nigel: I don�t really like to talk about work.
Dawn: Come on, please, just a hint. Anything on MTV?
Nigel: Maybe. Oh, looks like the pizza is here. Boy am I hungry. Nice talking to you.
Dawn: Bye Nigel.

Can�t forget�.
Dawn: So Os, do you have a blog too?
Os: Nope, just hosting and technical stuff.
Dawn: Wow.. you host and know technical stuff. YOU ARE SO COOL.
Os: Sure. If you say so.
Dawn: So why don�t you have a blog? I bet it would be SO COOL.
Os: Just not interested.
Dawn: You really need to get a blog, it would be so COOL. I will blog about you and everything.
Os. Um, maybe. I have to use the restroom, nice chatting with you.
Dawn: Oh.My.Gawd. I..Can�t..Believe..I..Talked..To..Os!


As you might expect�.

Madison: So you are Dawn Olsen of Up Yours. I love the name of your site. I have always thought that was a really funny name, you know, if you are having a bad day you can just say �Up Yours.
Dawn: [staring and thinking, �um she is really pretty and I saw Eric staring at her and he was checking out her butt.�]
Madison: [some other witty and funny stuff, being polite and nice]
Dawn: [more internal dialogue, �This girl is really smart, Eric said so. What�s his fucking problem? Always the pretty, blonde, skinny ones. I feel kind of drunk and wobbly. Is that pizza over there?]
Madison: Well it was nice chatting with you. Love that site name.
Dawn: You too, I�ll check yours out. [and keep a freaking eye on you girly]

Somewhere between drunk and loaded�.

Dawn: So who the hell are you [slurring words and touching people a little too much]
Martin: Martin Devon
Dawn: And�.?
Martin: PatioPundit
Dawn: Oh, yeah, I know who you are. You are that Patio guy. I like your blog.
Martin: I like yours too, irreverent humor.
Dawn: [did he just say I was irrelevant or something? Where did I leave that glass of wine]
Martin: Nice to meet you, keep up the good work.
Dawn: [did he just say I was a jerk?]

Lastly�

Eric: So Dawn, are you having a good time? I can�t believe all the great bloggers in one room. This is just so much fun.
Dawn: [sighs heavily] Ken Layne�s not here.
Eric: Yeah, that kind of sucks. Oh well, all these other great people are here.
Dawn: I know it�s great, they are all so nice. But Ken�s not here. I wonder why?
Eric: Maybe he was busy. Don�t worry about it. We�ll meet him some day.
Dawn: I don�t think Ken likes me.
Eric: Probably. [looking around] Hey, um, my drinks empty, talk to you later.
Dawn: Okay bye Eric
Dawn: Wow..I..can�t..believe..I..just..talked..to..Eric Olsen.

thinking: kate sullivan should write every day


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