anna's as hot as a muy caliente bean burrito, and she's playing tennis well too. Our favorite Russian beat Janette Husarova of Slovakia in straight sets Thursday 6-3, 6-4 at the Mexican Open, her best showing in years.

I think it's cuz she switched her top to the white one and left the skort blue. She seems to think it has something to do with her backhand.

Once again, Anna, whatever.

But enough about her, let's talk about you.

Readers of tonypierce.com, give yourselves a round of applause. Somehow the month of February was interesting enough to you that you told your friends and you visited often and you set an all-time site record in Average number of hits in a day (8,776), Average number of visits per day (581), and total visits in a month (14,544). For the short month of February you guys hit my page 219,406 times -- second only to when the web exploded in September when I got 241,282 hits.

For all of this I say to you, thank you. There is nothing more satisfying for someone who makes something than to have people look at it.

I would also like to thank Noah for his buck, and thank you to JC who has flowed his fifth consecutive buck to the Snoop fund. Fine gentlemen, both of you.

One more bit of housekeeping, I mean self-promotion, I mean housekeeping. Thank you Instapundit, MetaTalk, and everyone else who linked my eBay auction. That auction has gotten over 3,000 hits which is pretty insane considering all it is is an auction to see whose site (or blog) I will link on my blog and links page. So far the bidding has errupted to a whopping $15. You still have until 9pm PST to get your bid in, so bid early and bid often. And keep in mind the records that were set this month, odds are more than a few visitors of this site will end up on the highest bidder's site... which is the point, no?

Anyhow, I hope you all have a pleasant weekend, and if you're running in the LA Marathon, I hope the wind is at your back and the smog is non-existant.

Me, I'll be trying to find a tv station wise enough to show the Mexican Open which suddenly has much interest to me.

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welcome, groovy kids from Internet Gossip, one of my favorite sites on the web.

Thank you Harmony, for writing about my ebay auction, I don't know who you are or how you found my site but I'm glad you did because it's nice to have so many new readers.

Speaking of readers - or hits - I read one of the comments by one of the people on IG (and another site) disputing my claim to close to 150,000 hits this month-- first of all, thats not a lot of hits, secondly thats for my entire site, not just for my links page or my blog. I have a huge site here with many many pages. I put up 20 pages last night, for pete sake, which means if one person goes through them all and ends up on my Blog, that's 21 hits. I dont think thats a bad thing, I think that means that I can keep the attention of people for a wee bit longer than what you might expect a silly website to provide.

Mostly everything that you will read here is false - like my FBI stories, chats with Mariah Carey, my claims at having good luck, etc. But sometimes people like to try to figure out what parts (other than the stats) are true. I say just sit back and enjoy as it's all just in good fun.

For the IG readers who are interested in cam girls, I have written a few things about them and allowed them to write about themselves. Dig around my What's Old section of my links page and you'll see that I cover a wide array of topics.


Finally for those of you who are looking for reliable web hosting, NSNS hosts me, and will host you too for $5 a month regardless of content. If your site is way more popular than mine and generates a ton more traffic, your rate will probably be $10 a month, but theyre cool people and you should email me if you're looking for a good host.

Enjoy yourselves and please come back. I try to keep the site fun for all. And if you would like to donate a buck or more to my Snoop DeVille fund, just read here for all the details and one day I might announce driving to your town and I'll give you a lift to the market. See if you can beat my new best friend JC, who has flowed unto the fund another buck, making the total $4. Thanks bro!

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what a difference a shirt makes, anna is on a virtual tear on the coastal town of Acapulco, destroying Tathiana Garbin of Italy 6-1, 6-2 yesterday and making it to the quarter-finals of the Mexican Open.

Ashley was at the beach house yesterday to help me during my brief ailment brought on by what appeared to be too much Novacane. But it was she who went through a series of emotional changes that were pretty amazing.

The former teen princess of the desert is 100% Italian, and I watched her turn red with excitement when she saw me - it's been a while. And for the record, ladies, a fella always likes it when we can see on your face how happy you are to see us. It's sweet.

But then I saw her turn green with envy when a good friend of the Blog called around midnight. This brought on my disapproving looks, tears, and raised and then hushed voices. The problem with the Hollywood cabana is that it is entirely made of wood, including the floors, which means that voices echo. Especially crying voices of young girls who like to shreik, "get off me!" to the alarm, you could imagine, of the bored and curious neighbors.

Ashley completed the Italian motif by turning a near clear white in the wee hours when it became apparant that the soup she took from my cupboard was not entirely all vegetable soup and even in the colorful shadows of my bedroom, there wasnt even a hint of tint on our little angel.

Speaking of which, congratulations T-Bone Burnette for winning several Grammys last night. T-Bone produced most of Elvis Costello's best records and produced Peter Case's first record, which is still one of my all-time faves.

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anna's stubborn and that's okay. she wanted to chat with me and i wrote back and said, only if i can put it on my page, and she wrote back and said, if you chat with me you'll be happy.

maybe im stubborn too, as it feels strange to admit that anna is right about some things.

in the chat i asked her why she was still wearing that dumb blue outfit even though she's losing in it.

she said, why do you still have that auction up, even though no one has even bid one dollar. lol.

i said :(

she says its a secret.

i said how come youre being so nice to me.

she said, i read a book and thought of you.

and she said take the day off and get in that flying car, im in Acapulco, it isnt far. im about to go up against Mariana Oliva Diaz and i think i can beat her.

i said, you're cocky about maybe beating a Mexican girl in Mexico?

she said yes. and then she said, and shes from Argentina.

i said do they have fish tacos in Alcapulco?

she said, they have suites the size of half the hotel, lobster, champaign, toasters and toast, pitchers of purified water, thin little mexican blanket rugs and ceramics filled with potpouri, and me.

and since the flying car isnt exactly my property, xbi property, formerly fbi property, so really, your property, i cant tell you whether or not i have flown to acalpulco to party with anna, but i can tell you that she beat the Argentinian soundly 6-3, 7-5, but she had a smile on her face and looked good in that raggedy suit.

you know you want your link on this page, with the proceeds going to the Snoop Fund, the one that JC has now given a buck to each day of this week bringing the fund up to $374. Gracias, JC.

and happy Black History Month

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and i looked down and i had scribbled: this will not bum me out, this will not bother me. nothing will bother me. stay focused.

this isnt shit. this isnt anything.

sometimes people just feel like they have to take it out on someone and today is your day. this month has been yours, this year is yours. these last twelve months is yours.

take it. take it like a man. bring it on. is that all you have. is that all they have.

that aint shit.

one thing about libras is we're cool under pressure.

ice.

be ice, fucker.

not only does the buck stop here but you take the buck and you eat it and it doesnt come out anywhere.

it stops here.

this is the end, my only friend, the end.

this is pisces. this is what you said itd be. like when you were in the mountains. like when in "the shining" it was all nice and then the storm came.

bring it on.

i can take anything.

if it snows ride your snowmobile.

and when it shits, bust with the shitmobile.

but always be nice.

always be cool.

you can do this.

and you will do it with style.

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when the olympic committee asked me to help them make the games "more hip," to attract the 18-34 demo, I put a list of musical groups on a sheet of paper that I said should be rocking out during the final ceremonies.

first performer i nominated was Prince. i said, he has international appeal, he's funky, and the chances are good that he'd write an original tune for his slot that would be both parts thought-provoking and a wee bit...how you say...sex-saaaay.

since they're a committee, they debated this suggestion and settled on Earth Wind and Fire.

next i said you need an American rock star, preferably one from the New York/New Jersey area who could sing an uplifting song about the everyday hero. I didnt write down the rock star's name, so as to let the committee believe that it was thinking it up themselves, but i should have because instead of Bruce Springsteen singing "Born to Run," the group chose Bon Jovi singing something, I'm not sure, I was pointing, my dog was barking, and the children were crying and screaming.

Way down the list I wrote in Christina Aguilera, KISS, and Donny and Marie, as a joke, and it's nice that someone up there likes me because watching Kiss on the world stage, all fat and hairy on a platform that magically made its way around that icy infield is an Olympic moment that I'll never ever ever forget.

Here are some other things that I told the Olympic committee when they called me last night to ask me what I thought of the 16 days:

I said, if the next games are being held in Italy, tell Bob Costas they're going on in Iceland. That guy is the only person that I know that gives milquetoast a bad name.

Easy on the 12 minute soft-focus features on the US Olympic skiiers who live in a barn to save money and are supersweet only to be immediately followed with 2 minutes of taped coverage of them wiping out on their Big Olympic Day, losing, and being disqualified from the event. Let the fact that most of these events are taped-delayed to your advantage, geniuses.

Quit inviting the Russians to these things.

And finally, if Fox chooses to have another "Glutton Bowl" up against your women's skating finals: show more skating than skiing that night. The goal is to distract people away from changing the channels, dont reward them for channel surfing.

If I ran the Olympics, I would also spotlight people who chipped in to my Snoop DeVille fund. I would have Dorothy Hamill say things like, "Thanks JC and TG for your bucks! You two are now honarary Soul Brothers, feel free to display your buttons and enjoy all the praise and honor attached to your new acheivement." And then doves would be released and Prince would do a little jig.

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had some drinks with some hot chicks after work on friday and they had lots of questions for me.

turns out they read this page, but not my main page and they kept asking things and i kept having to say nothing in here is true and theyd laugh and then say, "bullshit, tony. thats so bullshit."

i am the luckiest man alive. im starting to learn that now. and i wanna use that for good, not for selfish things. but im starting to feel old. chris and i were trying to go to the home town buffet in burbank but the line was nearly around the building at 5pm on Saturday and i wanted to use my superpowers there to cut into line. i took some pictures of the people and then one of my self and i looked at the pictures and i saw that there was a gray hair coming in over my ear. this wasnt the first time i found one.

theres so much i wish could tell you, but more hot chicks than the happy hour girls read this thing and no one is satisfied by how theyre portrayed here, including myself. in no way is ashley as ridiculous as she might come across. and theres no way i could be an agent for an underground undercover vigilante group of misfits and castoffs who fight crime and pocket the contraband. in all actuality ashley is a full-scholarshipped med student at Irvine and im a left handed korean pitching phenom for the cubs with such a devistating screwball that it appears in some photographs that i am actually throwing underhanded.

underhanded, indeed.

im tongue tied and heart-tied and clumsy and pathetic about certain things that these lies disguised as fiction couldnt fool a child, which is why i have gravitated so easilly to the screwball, the most unnatural and deadly of all of baseball's pitches.

and here it is the month of pisces and its a nutty month where one unemployed fortune teller told me on a grayhound many years ago is the month where the lord and the devil fight their biggest battles over souls and situations. this is their month long superbowl and you can try to baton the hatches or take a vacation, but theres nowhere to run thats touched by the sun, theres no place to look but away.

the curveball works because if a right handed pitcher throws it to a right handed batter, it looks like it's going to hit you in the head and then it slides over the plate. but its slow in comparison to the fastball, and it spins and the batter can see it spinning and can adjust.

the screwball curves the otherway: in on a righty, and works like a lefthanded curveball to a lefty.

trust me, but this is invaluaeble to a pitcher with a mediocre fastball like most. critics call this a junkball, but for those who master it, it's everything.

it will, however, ruin your elbow. most screwball pitchers dont last even half the time as regular pitchers, and regular pitchers last on average only 4-5 years.

how many gray haired pitchers do you remember?

after they let the Blacks, and the Mexicians, and the Japanese and now, the Koreans, like me, do our thing.

today is sunday, the day of rest, set aside to remain holy and here i am talking about baseball.

but only cuz i want to talk about you.

and cant.

and never do convincingly, anyway.

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