tony + mary!
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nothing in here is true


   Wednesday, March 31, 2004  
although i dont find it necessary to have a president who knows how to snowboard, or look cool trying, i do think it's nice. i also think it's nice for a president to be forthcoming when discussing things like what he knew right before and right after 9/11.

thank you.

i would also like a president who knows how to juggle.

i would also like a president who can tell me a joke a day.

its twelve noon, you are listening to npr, national public radio. and now for the noon time joke, the president of the united states of america.

two whores walk into a bar...

i would also like a president who isnt afraid to actually take the information that the citizens ask him to investigate and actually do something with it. nobody is complaining about indecency on the television or radio.

we have a war we're barely winning. today they were dragging dead US soldiers through the streets of iraq, fuck this fake debate about the pledge of allegiance, fuck this fake debate about half million dollar fines if the f bomb gets dropped on the air when children might be listening. fuck oil presidents getting away with jacking up oil prices to all time highs and then saying well if you prorate the prices to todays cost blah blah blah.

i want a president who will say right after the war the prices were a buck sixty and now theyre two twenty, somethings fucked in denmark.

i want a president who doesnt look like some asshole's son. and act like some kid who just got his first suit. we're the united states of america. whats up with canada kicking our ass? im sick of my country acting like we're scared of having our shit blown up every ten seconds. did goliath have terror alert charts? did andre the giant run around saying someones looking to kick my ass?

of course people want our asses kicked. but theyre not going to. which is why we call them third worlders. which is why our God is better than their god. which is why they cant get a record in the top fourty. which is why they cant snowboard worth fucking shit.

i want a subway sandwich with turkey breast, mayo, mustard, lettuce, oil, vinegar, swiss cheese, on that crazy italian bread with parmesian on it and seeds in it, and cloves or some crap in there. i want to be overpowered by its foot-longness.

we are full of shit + brit coal + the ward

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