tony + mary!
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nothing in here is true


   Tuesday, March 22, 2005  
dear xiaxue,

first let me thank you for linking to me and talking about me.

yes, it's true that i posted your picture the other day and i didnt link to your site or mention your name. im a very bad man and somewhat rude, and i want to change that behavior because i know the rules of blogging and i know better than that.

i used your picture because you reminded me of a girl i dated who is just as beautiful as you. you both have gorgeous hair and some of your features are quite similar.

i like your blog very much and i am glad to hear that you are becoming so popular on the blogosphere, and im happy that youre a fellow blogger-user.

sometimes people write me nice emails and they tell me that im the greatest and its nice to hear but sometimes i want them to tell me what they like so much about my blog or me because deep down i fear that they arent really telling me that they like me as much as theyre telling me that they like the pictures of the hot babes that i put up or they like the pics of the funny things that i put up or they just like the fact that i call president bush an asswipe.

therefore i will tell you about my favorite post of yours.

i loved it when on saddam husseins's birthday last year you talked about how you measured men's penises. i particularilly enjoyed the fact that you didnt measure using the traditional means like we do here in the US: a ruler, a shoe, or a baseball bat.

once i was on the web cam with a nice young lady and she started taking her clothes off. then she invited me to take my clothes off. i live in california and it was warm that day so i obliged her and did as i was asked. her eyes got huge and she was all OMG OMG OMG.

i was all ????

she was all youre gigantic!

trust me, xiaxue, i am the furthest thing from gigantic. i am very average. painfully average. i asked this young woman how many pensises she had seen before and she told me and it was a reasonable number and i put the camera next to my thigh so she could get a closer look and she got the biggest smile on her face.

i was very afraid that if one thing led to another she would find herself at my house, or viceversa, and she would be incredibly disappointed, so i looked around my home for a ruler so i could show her that her perception was incorrect.

all i could find were cd cases so i put my fella up next to a cd case and she was very impressed with the comparison. she typed "cd's are about 5 inches and youre bigger than that by a lot!"

so i found a standard peice of paper which was 8 1/2 inches by 11 inches. (do they have inches in singapore?) and she was still smiling and laughing, in a good way. so then i put everything i could up against it, my shoe, my boom box, my remote control, my bowling ball, my coffee table. it didnt matter what i put next to it she just laughed and laughed and gave me the thumbs up via the web cam.

so im glad that you have figured out a better standard in which to measure, so thank you.

and again, please accept my apologies for not identifying you and linking to you. i meant no disrespect, i just didnt want people to think that i was talking about you when i was talking about someone very dear to me who simply resembeled you oh so slightly.

continued success in all of your blogging adventures, sweet xiaxue. i promise that i will not only link you as soon as i get home but when my camera is returned from the shop i will join all of you funloving kids in mr. brown's "im too sexy for my blog" conga line of photographs.

much love from hollywood,

mr pierce

xiaxue + xiaxue + xiaxue

Previously on busblog...