gg's fake name was ashley. she said why is yours sonny. i said cuz i want to live where the sun always shines. she said move to las vegas. in college it didnt rain in our town for a year. they called it a drought, i called it paradise. people put post-its over the toilets before parties, "if its yellow, mellow. if it's brown, flush it down." gg said gross!
technically a deb from marin, gg finished stanford at 19 and joined the agency. just like her 3 brothers,
2 sisters and mom! she said whats your cover. i said im 34 i live in malibu i make porn sites for big companies
shes like and what things does a guy like that like, and btw you ought to say 24. i said a guy like that likes sunsets
and long walks on the beach. just then our boss entered and said agent, i need to see you and i go great.
agent, we are not at all comfortable with your relationship with your new partner and i said. good. why am i even working here still? and he said, not only is it inappropriate but were you aware that she is the daughter of the senior director? i said nope. and were you aware that the senior director has commented on your work and said that you are a sloppy, unorganized punk bent on destroying all the good work that this agency is proud of. i said, nope. my boss said, it doesnt seem like you care. i said i dont care. all i want to do is go home and jump in the hot tub. what you people are doing is tantamount to kidnapping. my boss slammed his fist onto the table and said, Sonny, you arrogant fuck, all that dirty shit that went down when you started has got your ass in a sling and you know what im talking about. no i dont. yes, you do. i said, oh. he said and the worst part about it is that the wrong people know about it and for your own personal protection i have put my neck out to keep you working here and specifically working in my department. because, quite simply, a foul mouthed fool like you could get removed and no one would ever ask any questions and no one would even care. you think you're a superhero, look at me, im one too, so is merle, so is franco, so is juanita, so is beryl. mother fucking pete over there is a hundred and ninety nine years old and he is such a stud that he could put down his preparation h and fuck you up two times and you wouldnt even know what the fuck happened. that smartass mail room clerk is more of a asset than you are these days and i know you just kicked ass in santa monica but you erased anything positive by sleeping with that girl. shit man, is that what this is about? i didnt sleep with anyone. i didnt even touch her. it doesnt matter, the boss wants you two to walk in opposite directions and i want to have a future here so guess what you will never work with her again. i said fine, she was a nice kid, but whatever. and then he said, and i will need the last few correspondences that you two exchanged. i said no problem but the only thing that we've done lately was chat on the wristweb. he said, can you get the transcript? i said, id have to dig around my temp files, it might take a day, is it important? boss said, im afraid so, why dont you take two days, but i want it and i want it unedited and i dont want any of your creative excuses, i know you can retrieve anything you are commited to so do it and if it only takes you a day, take the other day off. now im going to have to try to find you another partner! by the way, howd you like the nurse? dude, i thought she was a hooker. sonny, do you think im that sick that id get you a ho as reward for breaking up a prositution ring? um yeah. i would do it for you. i think its funny. sonny, youre a sick individual. please dont project that nonsense on me. sorry boss. its cool, off the record i did try to get you one, but you've scared them all out of town for a while - the good ones at least. thats cool. thanks for the thought, but the nurse was awesome. my backs feeling better although i might need further care. can i get her number? no you can't she's not really a nurse, shes a friend, and in real life that woman would have nothing to do with you so keep dreaming cowboy. i said dreaming is all i got left. he said. what do the girls say these days on tv, gag me.