during my
first year of college i was poisoned by inadvertantly eating several
psychedelic mushrooms. they may have been yours.
i hallucinated,
i freaked out for a little while, and i came to some serious revelations
that i still hold true to this very day.
one of the
lessons that i learned was to dress like a fool at all times.
another one
is to distract yourself from your hot date whenever possible. here
you are holding a barbequed spare rib, and if i remember, that evening
was a good one for you, no? certain hot chicks demand a fella's
one hundred per cent attention. the problem is, if you give it to
them they don't respect you and simultaneously you end up in their
crazy magic love spells and thats no good either.
i recommend
not looking at your date for as long as possible. certain hot chicks
are psycic too and they cant believe that theyre not being checked
out. to see how youre doing see what she wears on the second date.
you may want to wear sunglasses.
if you have
to look at her, look at her teeth. if the teeth are somehow sexy,
look at the gums. if all of that is too much to handle and you find
yourself saying stupid shit, look at the space between her eyes
and quit talking. ask her about her best friends.
i know it
sounds ridiculous but it totally works.
