i wish i could tell you all the crazy shit that has gone on in my life over the last two weeks. but none of you would believe it.

im not saying that you dont live interesting and amazing lives, it's just that sometimes i think cool and unusal things happen to me because someone knows that i will write it down.

and as much as i would like to write it down, i dont really feel comfortable writing any of it down. not right now, at least. maybe you'll see bits of it here or there, but theres no way that i would admit to hanging with cool chicks, meeting celebs, doing wild things, totally having a stare down with my old boss from the fbi, totally threating to sue them over freedom of speech for shutting down my dumbass website, and pretty much breaking things off completely with my teen girl cuz shes acting like a total fool.

its so The Replacements "Bastards of Young": "the ones who love us best, are the ones we'll lay to rest/ and visit their graves on holidays, at best/ the one's who love us least, are the one's we'll die to please/ if there's any consolation, i dont begin to understand them/ we are the sons of no one/Bastards of Young/ the daughters and the sons..."

and in the strangest moment of all, despite all of the surprising coolness that has happened, the best fun i had was being at my old girlfriend's couchless, cable-less apartment, listening to music, not doing drugs, not drinking, but eating the best chinese food on the westside, playing scrabble and drinking coke with ice.

the lesson is, don't put a gun to your head cuz you never know what is waiting for you around the corner, and you dont know what will make you happy - even if you've been so happy for weeks.

and very little makes me happier than the ninety nine cent stores.