tony + mary!
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   Friday, March 26, 2004  
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
starring Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, and Kirsten Dunst
written by Charlie Kaufman
directed by Michel Gondry

the problem with most critics is they're easilly fooled. for example, just because Adaptation. was better than 95% of the movies that came out doesnt mean that it was good. interesting looking dog turds are still dog turds, doesnt matter what evil genius produced it.

the eternal sunshine of the blah blah blah isnt a dog turd. but it does have a rotten poop right in the middle of it that most people are going to be willing to overlook because it was created by a screenwriter who Might become a genius once everyone stops kissing his narcisistic ass.

i recommend that you see this movie, but im not going to rave because it doesnt deserve to be raved about. yes it is creative and different and interestingly shot, and Very well acted. but its flaws are huge and easilly corrected if only someone had the nads to speak up and tell charlie that he's off the map.

he's right on the money in so many ways, as was the director, as was the casting, that it only makes the mistakes that much more glaring and unbelievable.

my girlfriend kristin dunst is adorable in this, my boy jim carrey shows that once again - as in The Truman Show - that he can be "serious" and be just as good as any dramatic actor - and kate winslet continues to amaze and impress.

special kudos has to go to whoever the music coordinator was who got beck to contribute to the soundtrack. if the fucker is going to be all droney and somber the best place for him to be is on movie soundtracks where that shit flies.

heres what i want charlie kaufman to do: i want him to team up with spike lee. spike is crazy, but his storylines dont have any gaping holes.

then i want charlie kaufman to do a trilogy with spike jonez.

then i want charlie kaufman to take a year off and chill

then i want charlie kaufman to make a star wars movie with george lucas.

then i want charlie kaufman to make a batman movie with tim burton.

then i want charlie kaufman to make Blues Brothers 2001 where the ghost of John Belushi beats the fuck out of Dan Ackroyd and Jim Belushi for the first half of the movie for making blues brothers 2000, and then they go into space eat acid and reinvent punk rock

in space no one can hear you say oi.

then i want charlie kaufman to let me direct snoop dogg in iceberg slim's pimp.

and im telling you right now. there will be no gigantic flaws in our shit.

roger ebert fucking wished he could write reviews like me

after the debauchery + Lick got a positive review in Suicide Girls +

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