Thursday, September 13, 2007
 ive become a very old man. i tell girls not to come over to fuck me if theyre gonna act that way. i walk around for hours with no tv on no radio on no iTunes on, no boner, no hangover, no hacking cough, no smoking bong
i get shit done i write back people i call back people i have a clean sink
something is very wrong. something is too adult. something is too clear. something is too near.
if anyone ever has anything nice to say about the busblog its gotta be due to two people. my true love chris whose chat i published yesterday and the lovely karisa whose picture graces that post.
chris is sorta my muse because we have this game where i tell her i wanna marry her and she tells me she doesnt like me that way. karisa is sorta my editor cuz shes the one who says write something for the busblog do this for the busblog try this for the busblog i like it when you do this in the busblog.
rarely do either give tips about LAist and only during honesty weekend did karisa tell me any ideas she has for that site mostly because i think they know that that thing is a runaway train with a hellbound conductor and whattya know i fit in that seat a tad too comfortably.
some homo tried to email me these poem emails daring me to reply and i was all, dont people know anything about the xbi?
dont people know who i am and who their bosses are yet? and our relationship?
is everyone high out there? even at work? sheesh.
since when did i become the responsible one? i dont even have kids! im supposed to be the irresponsible dont give a fuck bachelor living in a hollywood crib topless with a boss in nyc. how is it that im the one who is always enforcing the rules and keeping the nose to the grindstone and forced to remember things
karisa can tell you that you cant even give me a hotel key at concierge podium and expect me to have it by the time we make it to the room
yet ive gotta have the rolodex in the head, ive gotta have the phone number on the cell, im the one ordering no cheese on the burritos, im the one saying no to the young hos.
some gay dude wrote me poems trying to dare me into outting him and telling his boss. this other guy wrote me an email that all i had to was forward it to his dude and hed have been fired before i had loaded my next bowl.
im offended that people would put that sort of responsibility on me. doesnt it look like im just sitting here trying to work like americans are supposed to do? doesnt it look like im just trying to build something over here. doesnt it look like im trying to rock while im at it over here?
i always think about music when i think. what would johnny rotten do. what would gg allin do. what would eazy-e do. clearly they know that by now. clearly they know im at a constant struggle between good and xbi. why they gotta push a guy.
last night she kept calling and i was all baby karisa is just a friend. she has a boyfriend. they live together! we had a two bedroom! yes you can get two bedroom suites in vegas in the classiest suites only place for just 99 bucks! then dont ask to see receipts if youre not gonna trust them!
smartest girl i ever dated, well not smartest, jealousist, most connivingist, she used to check my rubber or blow me and see what sorta load would appear. if id been outta town over the weekend shed make sure to be over on monday morning because she knew i keep the sabbath holy which means i had a full chamber ready to burst if i was being faithful.
so shed get it out of there. and either smile or judge and question and poke around in the mossy fields of my memory. which was fun for me cuz im no hider im no liar and im the last guy who wouldnt tell you every detail of exactly what i did with a lady if youre a lady and ask me in a miniskirt, especially if you reward me by after the interrogation whisper make it hurt.
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Previously on busblog...
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