tony + mary!
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nothing in here is true


   Friday, February 27, 2004  
and while we're at it, fuck the academy awards. if the industry wants to recognize movies, fine. if they want to get dressed up, fine. if they want to kiss each others ass, fine!

but theres no Best Picture of 2003. you cant seriously tell me that one peice of art is better than the other.

and now for best painting of flowers. the nominees are van gogh, sunflowers; picasso, untitled; matiste, blurry dream; and george seurat, afternoon in the park with jack daniels.

and the winner is...

fuck that.

fuck all of that.

here is how the academy awards should be like. you should get a good comedian like robin williams to do a song and dance number at the top of the show. then have some pretty girls come out and say, "and now we'd like to recognize some talented supporting actors."

and then they show a little film clip of a half dozen supporting actors and they aim the cam at their dumb faces and everyone clap.

then do the same for the directors, actresses, make up designers, set designers, etc.



popcorn sellers.


closed caption editors.


this self congratulatory patting on the back should be just that.

then have some more dance numbers.

then have a fashion show.

then let green day play.

then let joan and melissa give out awards for the best and worst dressed.

and i will tell you this, that oscars would get higher rankings than the crap theyre gonna show on sunday.

since no one really cares who wins or loses anyhow, nor should they.

but if you Are going to have an award show, let the dumbasses thank who they want before you rush to commercial.

what they do now is retarded. no way should the guy who explains how the voting is conducted should get more time on the mic than the guy who wins best actor.

fuck the oscars.

i hope it rains so hard that it causes a leak in the kodak theatre and drips on everyone and eventually electrocutes the whole fucking fistfuck.

on live tv.

in dolby 6.1 surround sound.

right before a gay wedding.

stinson + melting dolls

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