danny graves who tried to start last season but was 4 and 15, and is now back being the redlegs' closer. strike one to uh ram iz.

strike one called to boos. aramis drives a single to center, crowd cheers. griffey throws it to second.

derek lee who is two for three. strike called. boos.

low in the dirt. a ball and a strike. drink.

organ gets a few keys pressed.

inside curve far inside. two and one.

strike swinging. two and two. cubs down by one. hard hit to left center. gasps. griffey has it.

barrett hasnt gotten a hit all day and of course in the middle of this drama chip caray says that this has been a wgn blah blah blah gotta thank the producer and the director and all the fine people at wgn and im thinking fuck you bro we just got this catcher fuck you bro what are you telling the fans. fuck you bro isnt that why we have credits why do the fine people at wgn get shout outs. lil kim is the shout shoutout of the day not the fine fucking people at gn. who are they anyway you fucking kiss ass.

this is why people hate you. this game went super fast. thank those fucking schmoes during the 10th Inning. fuck.

curveball outside. drink.

one ball drink and oh.

84. jim h.

way inside. see fucker. see. two and oh. we're only down by one asshole. fouled away. only one out two and one. cubs down by one, fans. cubs have a good bench.

way inside. three balls and a strike. drink. do the asswipes sound excited? does a bear shit in the woods and wipe his ass with chip caray's "talent"

grounder to short tosses it to first but valentine pulls his foot off first. safe at first.

todd hollandsworth comes up. hes a great pinch hitter. reds pitching coach don gullet goest to the mound. hollandsworth smashed a pinch hit homer yesterday. had one in atlanta as well.

hollandsworth was a marlin a rockie and a dodger.

first pitch grounder up the middle and the cubs lose but you couldnt tell from chip caray who calls it a beautifully pitched ball game and not the emotional tragedy that it was.

raymi is beautiful + bunnie has a nice long post + makeout city

# | |

the fans are cheering ker-ry ker=ry as we waltz into the bottom of the ninth.

cubs up 2-1. wind still blowing in.

strike one gets the fans cheering some more. foul strike two to casey. crowd gets even more loud. casey hasnt gotten a hit all day.

wood has struck out six and two walks. foul ball out of play.

casey digs in on the left hand side of the plate. wood is a righty. grounder up the middle. tying run on first with your boy adam dunn up.

hes been on base three times today with a homer a single and a walk. fouled off, strike one.

outside curve called a strike low. not sure if that was a strike but we'll take it.

one ball drink two strikes.

curt schilling beat mike mussina today. go sox. two and two is the count with ryan freel on deck.

close outside pitch this time is called a ball.

drink.

crowd boos. full count. walks him, he bitches at the ump. barrett gets in the way of wood who is chawwing at the ump. the crowd boos louder. dusty who got thrown out yesterday runs to the ump. it did look like a strike on further review. but theres no crying and no replaying in baseball.

down with the commish.

cubs looking for the triple play. juan castro comes in to run for casey. bunt by freel. great bunt, ramirez comes in barehands it throws it out. runners advance. pitching coach larry rothchild goes to the mound. the whole infield listens to what he tells kerry wood.

jason la rue is up. the crowd is up. one out and theyre on their feet. cubs at normal depth in the infield. strike one swinging. why isnt the cub infield in. fly deep to left. back alou nabs it, run scores.

people boo but it might be alllouuuu. its a tie game. lidle is off the hook.

wily mo pena is up. strike one. fouled off for strike two.

pena digs in. crowd cheers. high heat fouled off. theyre going to go through it again. kerry toes the rubber. crowd builds it up ball outside. drink hos.

wily mo pena. drives it to center. gets behind patterson. reds are up 3-2. dumbass steve stone and chip caray show no emotion cuz they suck. they should be heartbroken as all cub fans are. they should be pissed at the ump pissed at dusty but they have no souls they're hacks. harry would be sad you could hear it in his voice.

dusty comes to mound to give the hook to wood, as soon as kerry gives the ball to dusty he yells at the ump a word that starts with f and rhymes with suck you and your cunt mother. the ump throws him out he runs at the ump the ump throws him out again. the crowd cheers and fuckfaces thats how you should be feeling right now. pissed off angry pissed sad angry and angry. that is if you have a soul that is if you know how to do your jobs. youre not the mouthpeices of the tribune corp youre the eyes and ears of the fans. stoney sat with harry and chip is harrys grandson. stil they sit on their hands like it cant be done any other way than the costas way.

i wish i could throw chip and steve out of the game. dusty pushes kerry away and kerry looks like hes gonna cry. the fans cheer and kerry breaks at least a half dozen fcc rules of indecency because i could swear i lip-read him say something about donkey balls. baker pushes him to the dug out, kerry strains for eye contact, steve stone continues to be boring and chip caray tries to be professional but if i wanted professional id be watching this on espn. wood yanks his hat off. the crowd loves him.

i love him. he went nine and a third. now in the dugout he throws his hat onto the field in disgust. a helmet is thrown. the crowd is going wild. they should. the ump is taking notes. he can shove the notes up his ass. the bleacher bums throw trash over the fence and onto the field. caray and stone throw nothing. im throwing my trash into the yard.

im putting this game on tivo pause. kent merker comes in for the cubs. bleacher bums chant bullshit bullshit. the fcc doenst fine wgn. even though thats 47,000 people yelling indecencies.

grounder to short ends the innings to a chorus of boos and this time they really are boos.

# | |

bottom of the eighth. this is great.

2-1 cubs. which rhymes with lubs and i lubs that chili at chili's

corey patterson grounds it to second off the new pitcher, wagner.

sammy sosa strides to the plate with cheers around him.

sammy gets a called strike. stike one.

next ball drink is outside. one and one.

sammy fouls the next one back. one and two. sammy looks fit, fine. remember he started last year with a foot problem. healthy as a horse this year. close one but a ball drink. two and one.

sammy pops it high thats two outs, the kids boo but its not boing its bruce springsteen at the game.

maybe they are booing after those last few records.

the ghost of tom joad?

one and one to alou. 93 mile an hour sinker gets away in the dirt. two and one.

low ball drink three and one. three and one equals four. stay in school kids.

check swing grounder to first sends us to the ninth.

damn this is faster than the patriot act zipping through congress unread.

we'll be back after this.

# | |

austin kearns pinch hits for lidle who pitched pretty well but is on the hook for the loss if the cubs hold this lead.

wood gets him in the hole 1-2 before he knows it.

gets caught looking at strike three thats six k's for kerry.

jiminez jumps out of the way of ball two.

drink, and do it in style, old style.

looks at the first strike, two and one and now two and two.

this game is going so fast youd think someone had a date tonight they want to get ready for.

full count on a close pitch.

jiminez fouls off the 100th pitch by wood. then fouls off 101. wood can pitch 125 no problem. but walks jiminez, who can run with all star barry larkin now up and griffey on deck.

i think wood likes these situations. he rubs the ball drink and gets ahead quickly oh and two.

47,607 fans in the park including john cusak my mom calls to tell me.

she bet my brother in law that i wasnt watching the game.

i told her to look at the world famous busblog.

foul ball, its 1-2. wood breaths into his fist, wood throws it past barrett. wild pitch. steve stone calls it a passed ball but hes a pitcher. whattya expect. get it near the plate, stoney, if you want a wild pitch. grounder to wood throws to first runner advances. but two outs

for mr ken griffey junior who is greeted with boos.

all star hall of famer vs all star hall of famer probably. griffey jr vs wood. ball and a strike. drink.

griffey doesnt look like hes aged a day. remember when his rookie card was worth everything.

ball two, drink, two and one.

i guess his rookie isnt so bad, its going for $71 with six hours left in the auction.

wanna know what to pay? ask ebay. ebay auctions.

line drive to left. diving catch by alou. its a snowcone, alou lifts his mitt with the ball poking out the top and the ump calls it an out.

everyone cheers but it sounds like boos thats moises alou for your asses and we go to the bottom of the eighth.

# | |

alex gonzales leads it off for the cubs. three pitch strikeout swinging.

why couldnt we get a-rod again?

kerry wood steps in there to a nice cheer from the fans. the count is 1-1 the score is 2-1 cubs.

wood pops it up to first and throws his bat in anger. casey drifts and catches the foul. one out.

walker takes his time getting into the box so as to let kerry wood get back to the dugout.

watch him take the first pitch or two so wood can get his breath back if he gets an out.

wouldnt want the pitcher out of breath if he has to pitch right away.

the first pitch is a fast ball down the middle, walker pops it foul for the third out.

wood's fast ass never touches the pine and we're speeding to the eighth.

# | |

for the first time today kerry wood takes the mound with a lead. it's two nothing there in the seventh.

big adam dunn with four homers is up with the count 1-1. woods curveball looks like a whiffle ball, a long shot to right a homer for dunn. the red headed kid throws it back to the cheers of the crowd but there goest the shuttout.

what did he throw back old style drinkers.

the home run ball.

drink.

freel pops to short for the first out of the seventh.

cubs two reds one. you can never tell the score too much. ryan wagner warms up for the reds. a pop out to second and there quickly the reds have two outs for wily mo pena.

a ninety six mph wood slider is fouled off. and then wood strikes him out.

jimmy collins from u of i chicago sings take me out to the ball game.

"take me out to the ball game
"take me out to the park?
"buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks" now two for one at rite aid, rite aid
"i dont care if i ever get back

"let me? root root root for the cubbies
"if they dont win its ashame

"cuz its one
"two
"three strikes your out
"at the old ball game.

"alright cubs lets gets some runs
"lets get it going baby."

# | |

corey patterson leads it off for the cubs. pops it to junior in short center. ive never seen a game go by this quickly. imagine if you got stuck in traffic or lost and you just got to the park. id be pissed.

sammy sosa is up. you cant say piss on tv, did you know that. fucking assholes.

sammy has it 2-1.

hes already taken cincy downtown twice in this young season.

but the third times a charm.

charmed on the wb, sundays.

freel pokes at the shot to third. takes a step. one hopper to casey at first but sammy beats it out.

noone respects sammys speed. but there you just saw it.

they dont boo moises who wears number 18. i dont know too many good cubs who ever wore that number. i cant think of any, actually.

patterson wears the black stripes under his eyes, hes on deck as its 2-0 to aloooou.

slow curve over the outside corner for a called strike. 2-1.

handsome moises alou always looks like his back hurts takes it 3-1.

and the colored girls say allllooooouuuuu.

hes from houston by way of florida, long drive to left, crowd roars but its foul. ooooh. the organ cranks into gear. sammy goes back to first. full count. two strikes and three balls. balls. drink.

sammy goes on the pitch, foul ball. dusty was sending sammy. the organ plays an old fashioned baseball game riff. a nursery rhyme tune.

the crowd gooes alllooouuuu.

there goes sammy, alou's ahead of the pitch and pulls it foul almost taking off the bonnett of a woman in the second row.

former cub manager lee elia is under the weather, wgn tv announcer chip caray announces to steve stone, they wish him well but i dont.

elia as you might remember told cubs fans who booed him that they should get jobs.

the cubs at the time only played their home games during the day as they didnt have lights yet. they used the Lord's lights, the sun.

my mother on hearing this story allowed me to call in sick at school and go to the bleachers and boo lee elia the very next day.

hope you die, lee elia, hope you die.

alou fouls another one back, hopefully at caray and stone, who i dont like much either.

one out one on in the bottom of the sixth. full count. sammy goes. alou drops one into short left. no one was covering third so sammy slides easilly into third. the throw to third gets away.

now two umps are talking to alou who is still on first. no one knows why. maybe he was talking shit at the plate.

uh ram iz has 10 rbis this season so far. takes the first pitch inside, ball one.

heilemens old style, from gods country.

outside pitch, ramirez pulls it to third, sammy running on the hit, freel to first gets ramirez but the cubs score. and theyre up 1-0.

thank brings up last years marlin derek lee with bro on second with two outs, lee squibs it through second. jiminez leans the wrong way and the ball... it gets past him, alou still running, scores.

barrett to larkin at short thats three outs, cubs end up scoring two. two nothing cubs!

# | |

i like my rockstars crazy and sweet. and if ever there was someone sweet it's courtney love. go pick up her new record america's sweetheart whereever records are sold.

bary larkin leads off the sixth. foul ball to right. one and one.

kerry wood hasnt looked all that but hes getting them out, grounder over second but slowly enough for gonzo to grab it and throw it to lee at first for the first out.

ken griffey junior misses a sinker for strike one. but doesnt fall for it a second time, one and one. griffey still uses the black under his eyes even though.... well hes black.

kerry jams him he pops up and holds that classic pose with the bat down and left arm bent retardedly.

pops up again foul. hes thirty four years old. how does time continue to fly.

and when you fly fly southwest.

derek lee catches this high pop. griffey never had a chance.

first pitch to casey is a groundout to short.

and just like that the reds are up and down. hope you didnt put too many quarters in the meter cuz we're headed to the bottom of the sixth

# | |

its a crisp 68 degrees here in chicago home of the cubs who were a foul ball away from the world series last year.

jason la rue slams the first pitch to uh ram iz at third who takes it on a tough hot but rifles it to first for the reds' first out.

wily mo is up yo and just like that its 0-2. kerry hangs a curve and wily mo drives it into shallow center and here comes lidle who bunts but derrek lee takes a risk and throws it to second, barret calls second, gonzo is at second and the force out is called what a play.

thats defense kids. that wont show up on sportscenter but its that shit that wins ball games.

jiminez lines it to second. for his third lineout of the day. kerry keeps his shutout going. we've got a pitchers duel here at wrigley.

alex gonzales starts it up for the cubs, yes what

he lined it to the pitcher who traps it with his knees and glove. maybe a foot from his family jewels.

sixty feet six inches is where that rubber is.

kerry wood digs in. one ball and a strike.

curveball wide for ball two.

keep drinking kids. keep drinking.

ball three, three and one.

drink again.

kerry fouls it and the count is full. i had a nice dinner last night with the girl. she didnt want to kiss me for some reason.

kerry grounds to larkin at short. now shes at the baking against bush rally in silverlake.

she and her friends made some baked goods and theyre selling them today and giving the money to kerry.

drink and think kids, drink and think.

todd walker to jimenez and thats it for the cubs in the fifth. three up three down and we're scoreless going already to the sixth

# | |

sammy bounces it to freel at third for a quick first out. bringing up moises alou.

the cubs fans arent booing theyre saying alouuuuuu.

lidle has nothing. first pitch is 84 mph and high ball one. a 77 mph curve falls over the plate for strike two. moises pops the next one up high. high. high but larkin camps out under it and theres two outs. where are the bats from yesterday mary kay?

air uh miss whiffs at strike two. cubs are making lidle look like christy matthewson. uh ram has like a .500 average against lidle which rhymes with ladel which you want lots of if youre eating campbells chunky soup. but i use a spoon.

foul ball on a hanging curve. still no balls for ramirez.

fouls another one back. twelve dozen balls. thats how many are used in a common major league baseball game.

thats my guess, what do i know, im blogging this.

the trainer comes out to see if uh ram is is ok, he says see, spelled si and proves it with a shot past the second baseman for the cubs first baserunner since the first inning.

derek lee is up he could be the key to the world series for the cubs he drives it through the hole at short and the cubs have two runners on with two outs here in the bottom of the fourth with michael barrett up batting 345.

the former expo catcher takes the first one low for a ball.

drink every time i say ball, and when you do, drink with style, old style beer.

reds dont have much of a bullpen so it would be key to get up on lidle now. slow grounder to second who tosses it to larkin who tags the bag and the cubs waste a little rally.

balls.

# | |

larkin griffey and casey due up in the top of the fourth. hi, this is satan asking for your soul. ninth caller gets a free trip to hell, expenses paid, food and beverage. just kidding this is your pal tone bringing you todays cubs game for all the men and women and all ships at sea.

its windy today at wrigley field and its sunny and kerry wood is on the mound and barry larkin is what a hundred years old. but he looks great. fit trim but grounds it to short and nearly beats it out. maybe hes just ninety.

youve gotta love that griffey is not only back but hitting well. the cubs have their shortstop behind second, todd walker is in the hole and air uh miss is at short basically. he could but but he doesnt. wood strikes him out on a spinny slider.

two outs for the reds.

casey at bat. sean casey has the black under his eye and cant hold up on strike one. he twitches and touches his helmet and has a routine that includes lifting his back leg up like a horse and planting it down. looks at strike two which rhymes with blue. selson blue shampoo and conditioner is on sale at walgreens. selson blue.

wood gets casey to oh and two. and then hits casey on the toe. hes awarded first base.

adam dunn digs in with his four homers already this season. he can hit.

so we're at two outs with casey at first and dunn down two balls and a strike. wood is whipping out the change ups and theyre deadly. two and two to dunn who watches the count fill.

the crowd claps.

inside curve way inside. wood walks dunn which isnt so bad cuz here comes freel.

kerry wood struggling a little bit here cub fans. two outs into the fourth and kerry has already thrown 59 pitches to 14 batters. but he wears number 34 and thats sweetness.

selson blue is at walgreens. dont forget that. on sale.

kerry wood takes freel 1-2 the crowd is warming up. looking for the kills. strike three called over the outside corner. no score at wrigley going to the bottom of the fourth.

# | |

todays shout shoutout goes to rapper lil kim who is being accused of lying to a grand jury investigating of a 2001 shootout outside a manhattan radio station. when messy stains got you down, dont pout, shout it out.

shes the queen bee you know.

kerry wood holds his shit brown glove in front his face and looks in at michael barrett. his name is pronounced willie. but its spelled wily. wily mo pena stands in there against kerry wood who once struck out 20 houston astros. in four games wily mo has two hits in six at bats and one of those hits was a two run homer. he's big. no, wily.

oh and two and wily sends a pop foul to right, it drifts out of play but not before derrek lee bangs against the brick right field wall. wily fouls another one back. in seven at bats against wood, wily has wiffed five times. now it's six. second strike out for kerry today.

pitcher cory lidle up nobody on shit drives it deep and long to the far right field corner for a double.

d'angelo jimeniz pronounced him in ez takes wood two and two. i had the combo number 17 today at jack in the box. the ultimate croissant, egg, bacon cheese mayo.

jimenez line shot up the middle gonzales snatches it in the air flips it to bro at second double play. and just like that the cubs are up.

thats your shout shoutout-standout.

kerry wood leads off the cubs half of the third. one of the best hitting pitchers in the game perhaps due to his big ass. first pitch pops up to wily mo pena. and i still say that sounds like a name for a little kid.

cubs second bagger todd walker formerly of the rockies is batting 370 in the first two weeks of the season fists one foul almost hits the line and the count is one and two. lidle really isnt that good of a pitcher. this shouldnt be that hard for the cubs and their home grown wood. walker gets foold and grounds it back to lidle who throws it over to first two outs.

thats one three if youre scoring at home and if you are think of her needs too.

corey patterson quickly down with a ground out to first and thats it for the cubs in the third.

lil kim we love you baby.

# | |

sean casey knocks the crap out of it. drives it to the wall in left center. yesterday that would have hit a building across the street. today its a flyout.

adam dunn pulls it hard down the first base line. derrick lee knocks it down but never gets it. infield hit.

ryan freel with one out. michael barrett cant handle a pitch off the lip of the plate it gets past him and goes to the backstop. runner advances.

it is windy but its blowing in. curve strike brings the count to 2-2.

its sunny.

uh ram iz gets the grounder looks at dunn go back to second and throws freel out at first. two outs.

jason la rue is batting 150 so far and quickly has two strikes on him. pitcher on deck. 86 mph slider inside he whiffs. game still tied going to the cubs half of the second.

derrek lee pops it up to griffey in center. how nice is it to see griffey in center. cory lidle is on the mound for the reds.

michael barrett is in the hole oh and two. i got laid last night and this morning. after we went to jack in the box and i realize that i eat a lot of fast food when someone has a car around. barrett fouls one off and then looks at ball one. hot chick. theyre all hot. this one particularilly. we listened to vu live sixty nine grounder to larkin.

alex gonzales first swing shot to freel at third. quick inning for the cubs. no score.

# | |

cubs versus reds
as blogged by tony pierce

kerry wood has a fat ass, but it helps him, and it looks flabby in his baggy home whites. the cubs best pitcher is on the mound for the cubs today and he just owned junior. one called strike high one whiff at a change at the toes and a weak long drive to center.

three up and three down for the goateed flamethrower.

the cubs of 2004 have four of the best cubs to put on the pinstripes in twenty years.

maddux, wood, prior, and sosa.

with patterson on first from a fielders choice sammy sends one deep to right wind blowing in and it bounces off the bricks for a double.

alou sends the count to 2-2 then 3-2 then walks draws a walk.

yesterday the cubs came back from five runs back to beat these reds 11-10.

bases loaded two balls on aramis ramirez

uh-rahmiss is how he pronounces it.

dont swing, lidles wild and the winds blowing in

swings and chops the ball down to third, freel tags third and throws it across the infield to first.

double play.

no score.

end of the first.

# | |

a new feature that i will call

Blogger's Digest

it was sad today when i was walking around campus during one of my many breaks and i said "god, i don't know what i'm doing. with anything. nothing makes sense." and she told me "nobody knows. but it's good not to have everything completely settled. that's boring

it's comforting to realize that you have friends that can say things like that. there are many different kinds of friends in the sea. the kind that just get you and you get them completely and you love them forever.

and then it varies all the way down the scale to people you just sometimes see and sometimes hang out with but you never really have good conversation or too many things in common and you get along only when the going's good.

well, fuck the going.

- tiffany

while it's good i can't tell you how thrilled a boy becomes to read himself distilled into the words i pick to describe him. superhuman, massive, gentle and like a rubik's cube. so many angles and they all feel so flattering.

truth is i have a hard time picking at first. talk about his biceps? how great he is in bed? the way he gets all shy and makes me feel like i'm bigger than life?

what? what next?

they tune in. they can't help it.

but eventually it gets ugly and then every fucking post feels to be about them as far as they're concerned. they don't know me well enough to know that a breakup unearths so much that i just bring it all out and start talking about shit that happened six years ago before i even knew them. shit they've nothing to do with. some just internalize and act on the thing. some ask me about it. it's gotta tear them up. but still.

they tune in. they can't help it.

so vain. you'd think i was a one-hit wonder. you'd think i'd never felt so deeply as i do for them.

- angelina

every single one of those complementary hair care products is formulated with soy, wheat, or fd&c colorings. those allergens are clearly listed on the label but are only three out of the 9287303401723487 ingredients i am no longer allowed to welcome into my life.

flagrant says: "fuck ebay, i want this crap out of my house."

note: $$$$

flagrant says: "no, you're not getting me... i'm not touching it."

consider: a little bit over the top as the products are in sealed bottles.

consider: deliver them to a charitable organization?

flagrant says: "...and nobody's putting it in my car."

- flagrant disregard

I'm so sick of Donald Trump.

Either get a hat on or get out of the public eye.

- bunny mcintosh

The Girl's Night story is just too long to type, but the bartender kept putting his arm around my waist, each time he brought me a beer...so of course I kept ordering beers : )

- jaylex

whatever fuckwads who think self-loathing is out. well, it is i guess, but you know, FUCK YOU. it's not that someone like me is all yah my condition lends me the ability to SEE and KNOW the truth, that shitty copout all cynics give you. bullshit on that. it's only a wall, you feel, is there. and you're always different than everybody else and you always hate everybody else and everybody else pretty much always hates you. 'specially if you reside in a suburban rich kid town and refuse to dye your hair blond. every girl fights here and wants to fight me. uuuuuuuuh-ok. it's obviously because i am so pretty. pfft.

i dreamt i was incredibly fat last nite.

- raymi

my girl raspil has a new layout and its better than yours

# | |

this week in rock in LA

tonight
blondie - house of blues
metric - el rey
bobby mcferrin - cerritos center
bacon brothers - key club
TSAR - Hangar 1018, 1018 S. Santa Fe, downtown - MIDNIGHT
$5 if you print out this flyer

tomorrow
TSAR - the good hurt, 8:30p
they might be giants - royce hall
the darkness - henry fonda
angry samoans - anarchy library
david lindley - mccabes
wild child - whisky
buck o nine - malibu inn

sunday 4/18
the darkness - henry fonda
happening harry & happtones (guns, poison members) - cat club

monday 4/19
jimmy reid - bb king's
wayne kramer - cat club
michelle shocked - troubador

tuesday 4/20
shapes of racecars, monty, axl, mark antonides - the derby
cypress hill - henry fonda
kottonmouth kings - key club
michael penn - largo
michelle shocked

wed 4/21
beyonce, alicia keys, missy elliott - the pond
br-549 - the derby

thurs 4/22
morrissey - wiltern
star fuckers - cat club
fantomas - henry fonda theatre
jc chasez - house of blues

riley dog + simpleton + steph

# | |

kill bill vol. 2
directed by quentin tarantino
cinematography by robert richardson
starring uma thurman, daryl hannah, michael madsen, and david carradine as bill.

quentin tarantino has made his third perfect movie and he not only made it look easy, but made it look fun.

the writing is flawless the acting is solid but the look is fresh and the comedy is there and the action is there and the only thing thats not there is theres not enough stars in the heavens to award this film.

it was as if quentin filmed kill bill, realized it was a damn good three-hour movie but decided instead to hold back the best parts for the "sequel" and call the leftovers kill bill vol 1.

the rumors of you not needing to see the first to enjoy the second are true.

kill bill vol 2 stands on its own and shines on its own, it sneers on its own, its amazes on its own, its such a gargantuan shock to the heart that its almost like vol 1 was a warm up for what quentin knew he could do.

vol 2 runs laps around vol 1 in a way that vol 1 should have just been dvd extras, missing scenes, and deleted moments of this instant classic.

this is a dress rehearsal of a wedding between genius and artistry. action suspense humor, depth, subtlety, and beauty. the way movies should be made but simply cant be made because theres only one quentin and his fastball moves.

this is the work of a maturing filmmaker caught completely in stride, no longer the video store clerk trying to prove that he can direct, no longer the wigger in the kangol trying to show off his record collection.

this is the quentin tarantino that everyone hoped for after the one two punch of reservoir dogs and pulp fiction that never was realised in the pair of films that followed.

this movie was so good that i bypassed the miramax + ascis afterparty so i could run home and tell you to go right away before people start giving away the juicy bits because there are some parts that people are going to start talking about and it's far better to see them for yourself unspoiled.

kill bill 2 gets the busblogs highest rating. as someone who was lucky enough to see pulp fiction the day it came out, i felt just as satisfied leaving this film, and i definately wasnt the only one.

john stakes + evhead + the detox

# | |

hi tony

hi blog.

are you mad at me?

no, why would you say that?

well, um, well, you used ta update me 3-4 times a day, and lately it's been down to 2 times a day.

oh bloggy bloggy bloggy blog. i still love you. im just busy as all hell.

i know you are.

no seriously. do you have any idea what sort of mess LA is in and i've got to fix it?

yeah.

are you crying?

sniff... no.

you ARE crying!

shut up. so.

dude youre the best blog in the world. everythings gonna be ok. things will slow up and i can write on here all the time again.

i know.

seriously. ive got some great plans for you.

you do?

well, not really. but im sure i will think of something good real soon.

what about my archives, why do you let them go to shit?

cuz on the weekends i really just want to chill out and not blog and not write and not do shit but lay around and watch baseball.

see.

blog, the website hasnt been updated since bunny visited. if anyone should bitch its the site.

true.

my links page is fucked. my everything is fucked, blog. if theres one thing that is even sorta in good shape its you.

i know, but i could be sooooo much better.

trust me, i know. and it kills me. its just that i have lick and the lick blog and work and the ladies and do you have any idea how many books i have to read to be able to write this well?

you dont read any books tony.

i know. but i should. then i would be able to write well.

whatever. just try to spend a little more time on me and i'll be happier and maybe people will comment more or donate to the car fund or something. or maybe you'll get laid more or something.

deal.

thanks tony.

im sorry blog.

its cool tony.

i love you buddy.

dont be gay, bro.

k

i liked the oliver stone documentary with castro. it was honest. it was interesting and it was far from soft on the dictator.

# | |

because im the luckiest man alive and because the ladies of LA are so generous and beautiful and connected and wonderful.

and because the pickings are slim for the single young females, tonight i get to see a special sneak preview of Kill Bill 2 at the historic mann's chinese theatre thanks to the good people who made Uma Thurman's shoes: Asics.

thank you Asics and thank you Liana for letting me be your guest.

and thank you Liana for letting me take karisa if youre too busy saving the world to go.

we'll see you at the after party and later at the Standard and if i lack any blogging tomorrow it's cuz im still hungover.

i didnt truly love love love the first Kill Bill. it seemed to me to be violence for violence sake and very little plot.

i didnt like that it only took uma a few minutes to chop up a couple dozen dudes with swords but then took an excrutiatingly long time to reach a conclusion with Lucy Lui

who's just one girl.

i loved, however, the opening exchange between uma and vivica.

how quentin gets all these fine women to look even finer in his films is wonderful, especially since it's been a long time since either uma, daryll or vivica have been carded, if you know what i mean.

and of course i loved the ball-and-chain weilding asian school girl who very truly needs to answer my phone calls and marry me.

and although jackie brown was a major disappointment, i have nothing but high hopes for this film tonight.

i hope i get to see it with the hottest cuban girl in hollywood

but if i have to accompany karisa, i suppose i will survive.

and if this movie sucks, trust me, i will tell you.

flagrant + wisdom goof + kate sullivan

# | |

fucked up and clicked the little globe when my microsoft windows xp said that it was time for an windows update.

the xbi has enemies.

so i clicked the little globe deal and went on with my business and it said for me to restart and whattya know, as soon as it came back i had no d drive.

where all my peer to peer sharing folders reside.

and a little side project folder i like to call lick

and a folder that said tonypierce dot com

which stored thousands and thousands of photographs and stories and poems and webpages and fables and miracles and unfinished photo essays and thousands of songs perfectly catagorized and all

for

your

ass.

and the first thing i thought of was how will i do lick.

and the next thing i thought of was, how incredible that it didnt hit my c drive cuz then i would be truly fucked

and then i thought thats what i get for talking shit to sol over at the buzzmachine, remember what happend to david when his saul hated on him.

so i got up and telephoned my buddy solomon, bass player for rock group tsar, who will be playing a midnight show on friday night i understand in downtown la because that is the shit right there

and i left a message along the lines of

hello jeff, would you please call me back at your earliest convenience.

i have a question about my computer.

thank you.

good day.

which is code for shit shit shit!

restarted the bad boy again and clicked the d drive and it said drive is not formatted, format now?

to which i hunted for the oh god no button.

to which i thought there needs to be a peice of software that will let you go back to the settings twenty four hours ago.

and the desktop shortcut of that software should be two red sparkely shoes with little white socks poking out the top of the shoes.

and then i saw that i had tivoed the chappelle show

and i turned it on

and i waited to hear the terrible news.

and then i saw that i had put lick and tonypierce dot com on my desktop

for easier access

the desktop, which resides on the c drive.

c which was short for you fucking lucky ass non backing up lazy fucking you dont even deserve this type of good fortune.

but now im terrified to click on those folders

cuz what if its just a shortcut.

intricate plot + adrants + capt scurvy

# | |

its true that ive been spotted around town with a particular cuban young lady. and because im constantly trying to impress her, i will be watching the new Castro documentary tonight on HBO.

its very interesting dating a cuban girl who has not only been to cuba but still has family there. apparently a lot of the cubans really truly do love castro and enjoy the lifestyle there and arent interested in the american dream.

and even though i love america, in many ways i can see their point.

although i may come across as a content young man living the life here in hollywood, when i see things like late model corvettes or beachside homes, i admit, i become covetous.

which i know i shouldnt.

i suppose i defend america and the dream because at least i have the option here to bust my tail and go get the things that i really dont need, whereas in other countries you dont really have those options.

im curious as to what mr stone will ask of mr castro. for some reason i respect oliver stone and like the way that he challenges the status quo.

jfk is one of my favorite films.

im very much looking forward to what mr stone will ask mr castro about our fallen president.

i would also like to see if he asks castro if the american embargo has crippled his country.

and of course i am eager to see if oliver stone will ask fidel if he is disappointed in all of his countrymen who defect to america to play baseball.

im guessing he isnt disappointed at all.

chokey chicken + bastard family + raymi rulez

# | |

im old enough to remember the last days of the first george bush and it looked a lot like this.

bungling, fumbling, desperation and finally resignation.

you end up feeling sorry for the guy.

and at times you even feel pity.

for at times, it really is pitiful.

this evening we saw a little boy who wanted to go home.

who doesnt like wearing a suit, doesnt like the press, doesnt like the mess he's created, and doesn't want to play this stupid charade any more.

he was always better at playing cowboys.

he always felt more comfortable in jeans clutching a cold frosty one.

not everyone was cut out to do the things that they become famous for.

i watched this press conference and i saw the youth of the president. to me he still seems like a very youthful man.

he seems capable of learning, but its impossible to tell if he has any serious convictions himself or if the entire night he'll be telling his buddy cooter that he told him he could get away with saying turkey farm twice and not crack up.

and then there were the sad moments. the times when you literally saw a president try to think

and fail at it.

i can think of 10 things i did wrong in the last ten hours, george w bush couldnt think of one mistake he'd made since 9/11/01

and he hoped the answer was on the chandelier above the press corp and he looked

and it was exactly like the final round of a heavyweight fight

no one has enough energy to even swing

whats the use

everyone waiting for the bell

or a towel to be thrown in

or the lights to go out

or anything

tonight i saw living nothing

and it made me feel badly for the gentleman.

bunny mcintosh + trevor + moxie

# | |

i want to have a radio show. i want to open a burrito shop. i want to have twins for girlfriends. i want a house in malibu and one in the hills. i want this day to end. i want to be able to type without people interrupting me. i want to be able to go home and do some of the design-y stuff that i used to be able to do. i want to have the energy i had when i was 20 and i would dance around my apartment listening to new music.

i want to be able to call my tivo from chopper one. i want solomon to make my home wireless. i want to be understood everytime i open my heart or my mouth or my blogger browser screen. i want every girl i meet who i fall in lust with to fall in lust with me sevenfold.

i want to be able to take a check and go to a credit union and be able to open a savings account in less than 30 minutes. less than 20 minutes. less than 15 minutes.

i want to be tall enough that i could get away with only hitting 50% from the line. i want 15 boards a game. i want a hook shot that you tick tock cant stop.

i want a dog and a dog walker. i want a maid that speaks even poquito englais. i want a dance partner who will look me in my face (and not down my shirt) i want to type all night till it hurts. i want to be able to have barely legal asian girls come over and be prepared enough to have at least a half keg on tap cold chillin like jakob dylan. i want ticketmaster to be something my children will have to ask me about like vhs, records, and republican presidents not named lincoln.

have i asked for this work day to be over. i want my true love to know that i might ask her hand in marriage every time we converse but 90 percent of the time its just cuz ive got nothing else to say. okay maybe eighty.

i want this sky and this sun and this air to stay the same for the rest of eternity cuz its perfect but im in this ivory tower and i have no hair to let down in which to escape.

i want everyone responsible for the 9/11 to eat it. rummy condi bushie for starters. not because they protect the rich but because theyd have been the first to bitch if gore had been where he shoulda been, which is large and in charge.

i want a large pizza. i want a large meatball. i want a large four wheel overdrive motor car. i want my camera to work again. i want to open its mouth clear a path and blow life back into it. i want a tire swing and a rope and a tree.

i want to have a sign and a chair and set it on the corner of hollywood and highland, i want the sign to say let me take your picture, $2, you might get into the best photography book about hollywood ever.

and i want a little sign that says, produced by a blogger

and an even smaller sign that says no more questions, either sign your name and print it and say cheese after you hand over the money, or keep walking.

i want to do it without talking.

whats his face said that the root of pain is want.

but my face says that the definition of being dead is to want nothing, so suck it, camus, nobody ever dresses up as you.

intricate plot + jason g + <3 kimmy <3

# | |

ok, im now verrrry confused by the women of The Apprentice. first they used sex to win the first few challenges in the hit tv show. then they were advised to use their brains instead of their sexuality and they lost a few challenges.

then they were mixed up with the men and they were pissed off when some of the men used them to be hot but left them out of the desicion-making.

and now that we're a few days away from the final, theyre no where to be seen.

fired from the show.

as most of them shoulda been.

and so now theres a report that says that the ladies were offered $250k each to pose nude for playboy magazine and not only did they decline, but they instead posed in lingerie (pictured) for that icon of taste FHM.

their compensation: $0.

didnt their time with trump teach them anything?

obviously i am a man with an open mind. and if i was given a choice between hiring a woman who posed nude with a woman who posed in lingerie, i wouldnt think lessor of the woman who posed nude.

but apparently the women of the apprentice think differently.

yes there is a difference between being nude and wearing trashy lingerie.

to me there isnt much difference.

to the irs the difference is a quarter mil.

now i thought these women were interested in being entrepreneurs. dont they think $250,000 of seed money would be beneficial to them? more beneficial than the "exposure" that they will get off this laddy mag?

perhaps one reason i have an open mind is because i have an extremely short memory.

ive seen playboys "women of starbucks" ive seen playboy's "women of wal*mart", ive seen the girls of the pac-10, big-10, and i even got my playboy autographed by two ucsb gaucho women who posed during the "women of the big west": and if you put any of those beautiful ladies in a line-up i wouldnt be able to tell you their names their colleges or their professions.

why do women think that posing for mr hefners magazine will cause them so much negative feedback and they dont think that fhm maxim and stuff wont?

if i could, im sure trump would fire these batty broads again.

and im glad they lost to kwame and his bro from the windy.

kevyn malone + mc brown needs gmail + offline adventures

# | |

q. hey tony, if you're such a tough guy preacher why dont you start up your own left wing pot smoking pre marital sex actually read the bible church?

a. at a thousand hits a day, i reach more people on this blog and i dont have to tolerate any crying babies when im trying to rock the mic.

lost my wallet today.

it was a hectic day at work. i didnt really have much time to write. i couldnt talk to the hippy girl as much as i woulda liked. i wasnt 100 per cent being that it was a monday and it was the cubs opener and i still couldnt believe that tiff and tboz suprised me on saturday with tales of eighteen and over clubs and fake ids and pearl necklaces.

got a lift over to the cuban girl's headquarters on hollywood blvd and outside the kfc i discovered that i had lost my regular wallet which consealed my xbi wallet. one thing you dont lose is that.

plus jeanine had given me a money order for $500 that i hadnt cashed yet and the first question is what on earth is jeanine doing writing money orders for that big, but what am i doing not cashing them immediately.

the cuban paid for the breast and wing combo and we went to my house to root around my backpack a little more.

she took a nap and i woke her up her favorite way while listening to kayne west. yes, virginia, kayne is the man. thank you for turning me on to him, i listen every day and i love it.

then we went at it again.

i dont know if its cuz its still aries, the month of war, but shit that id usually blow off is hitting me in the wrong part of my sore spot and i ...

fuckers saying that i comment on blogs just for the hits? fuck you.

fuckers saying fuck the busblog, that other blogs are more creative.

wheres their stories and poems and fullpage webshit and photo essays and side blogs and side zines and side novels and ebay scams and interviews with escalators

i see people talk shit about me and have the nerve to do it in my style even

and it makes me happy cuz when they do it theyre saying that im the man

and i'll take it.

cuz not everyone has what it takes to say what stinson and others have said which is i might disagree with you sometimes (or most the time) but i like your style

but they should.

and one day one of you fuckers might point to someone who brings it day after day after day after day and thats when you can tell me to fuck off and take a seat

meanwhile quit pointing to will wheaton

and then i found my wallet next to the recycling box beside chopper one.

now ive gotta find my phone.

anti + vortexia + dehumidifier

# | |

Dear Tony,

I know you hate me.

I know you're still mad at me for making Wood and Prior throw the playoffs in October.

I know I promised you that I wouldn't let that recall election go through in California.

But quite frankly, the fucking Falluja and the PDB are like a one-two punch and none of these nitwits here know what to do or say.

And I know you would know exactly what to say.

I know you like my video game analogies so heres one for you. The fighting guy has made it to the end of the level and now he's fighting the bossman three times his size. And he's winning.

Well, Tony, I'm the bossman, but I'm also America.

Please save America, this one last time.

And I promise you that I will give you anything that you want.

As much as you want.

I know you're going to say you want my daughters, or a job where you can travel around and blog and meet people, but please lets get serious. I will give you money, power, I'll get that Tsar thing on the radio. I'll do anything.

Please write back soon, I have a press conference tomorrow in prime time and I don't know what to say.

Sincerely,

George W. Bush
Washington

++++++++++++++++++++


Dear President Bush,

youve done the right thing. youve come to the right place. and youve said the right things. its too bad america doesnt know how honest you are when theres a gun pointed to your head. of course i want your daughters its true and they want me but thats just wrong and the lil'n looks like your old lady and no offense but, anyway, they look young.

i want a date with rebecca romaine hotshot.

i want clear channel to hire back howard stern and put him on all their stations, not just six.

i want you to banish the designated hitter from the american league and create a salary cap for both the players and the owners of major league baseball.

anything leftover goes to the poor.

i want ticketmaster shut down.

i want whatever chemical makes your dick so big that you think for a moment that i would actually help you in a zillion years.

i want titties on tv. i want you to legalize weed. i want you to wear a tshirt that says skateboarding is not a crime.

you lied to us about weapons of bah bah booey you sent us into shit and youre stuck in that shit now and we're paying for it and now that youre paying for it a little bit youre swagger's down to a limp. fuck you bitch and i'll say it with authority.

didnt you tell me that pete rose would be in the hall of fame by now?

didnt you tell me that i wouldnt have to watch the view any more.

that leno would be removed from the tonight show and david lee roth would be back in van halen.

where the fuck is that super rogaine?

you said the fcc wouldnt do anything!

why arent there free condoms in every supermarket?

and why is gasoline fucking two fitty a drop you oil family heir to the fuck.

if youre america youre the sludge slapping the shore youre the strip malls on fire youre gridlock youre aids.

you come in smiling and you destroy quickly and ruthlessly but somehow in iraq youre limp and toothless and fumbling and wrong.

the shit doesnt plop far from the pee.

but heres what you should say tomorrow even though i know you wont even though you know you wont even though its true.

my fellow americans,

i am not a bright man, but i try.

i was a drunkard and a coke head and a frat boy and a loser.

but if america is about anything its about opportunity.

i was given the opportunity to run a baseball team and i failed.

but america is about opportunity and i was given a second chance, i was elected governor of one of the biggest states in the union.

i didnt entirely make a fool out of myself, so you elected me president.

on august sixth two thousand and one i didnt know it, no one knew it, but i was making a fool out of myself.

i got a memo that was titled "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in U.S." and because i didnt know

i swear to you i didnt know

that they meant it as in for reals

(say "for reals" and save your career)

i went on a month long vacation instead of huddling up and asking the 70 other investigations focused on Bin Laden to conference call with me about this curious memo.

i did nothing.

it was the longest vacation that a president ever took but

well,

im sorry.

if a golfer has a bad day he might not win a million dollars and a car, he might win like ten grand or something.

but when the president of the united states has a bad day

it can be bad.

as for iraq im going to just nuke those fucking ingrates in about ten minutes, so just chill on that shit.

thank you for your time.

i will answer no questions.

onelove.

tiffany + teera + miss america

# | |

its that time of year again where i have to remind people about how to leave anonymous comments.

you can certainly leave comments that don't include your name, your email address, or your web page - if you are being complimentary towards me.

the comments section on the busblog are there to agree with me, to kiss my ass, to ask me out on a date, to clarify something, to add to the discussion, and to ask questions like "if i gave you $50 via paypal, can you keep it between us cuz my wife would blow her stack."

if you want to say something negative about me do it in your own house. Especially if you don't have the guts to put your name next to it.

my name really is tony pierce.

its not like i say safe things in here: i bash the sitting president, i preach responsibility and peace and Christianity, i support Howard Stern, and i even back our former president Bill Clinton.

and i put my name next to it.

negative commentators who don't put their email addresses next to their statements are either liars or cowards and they shouldn't sully this good thing that we have here called the busblog.

i have been doing this thing for close to three years now, posting just about every day, and i have noticed that usually people who post negative shit hardly have anything of substance to say which is why they don't want to align their "good name" next to it.

so if they aren't confident enough to own up to their own bull, then why should i give them a platform in which to speak?

i have also noticed that the majority of anonymous negative commentary are people who espouse the republican beliefs: this does very little good to your cause or your party mr. drudge and you should reconsider this practice.

i don't think that i have ever written anyone who has left a comment on my blog via email.

what the email slot does is lets people know that there is a real person behind the comment and that person owns an email address that they're not afraid to release. if you're afraid of spam, do like what i do and leave a letter out of the email address:

dumbass@tonypierc.com

i comment a lot on blogs for several reasons: i love it when people comment on mine, i like to be part of this global discussion, i want the bloggers to know that their posts are of value and worthy of debate.

but i don't want spam any more than the next person so in the email portion of the comment form i give the above email address.

this way if the webmaster wants to ask me something privately, or if anyone wants to know "who the fuck" the commenter is, they will know its me.

tony pierce

defender of what's right.

who has the nads to put his name next to his shit.

some people like my gorgeous goddess of a wife moxie puts this in the email box Moxie[at]moxie[DOT]nu.

it defeats spam too.

those cowards who say that they don't want to put either of these options in the email portion of the comment box because of spam need to realize that they are infact spamming my comments with anonymous bullshit that nobody asked for.

in a perfect world everyone would have a blog and naysayers of my beliefs could just leave that

but then we'd see where else they're full of shit and they'd be outted as being the frauds that they are.

regular readers of the busblog know that i am quite tolerant for those who are new to this blog, and they see that i give fair warning before i delete posts or ban commentary who continue to break the rules and leave negative comments anonymously.

i appreciate constructive criticism, but at this point of my life i don't need it from people who are too chickenshit to leave any trail back to themselves.

i seriously doubt that any of you would walk into a home with a mask, look around and disparage the host in disguise while cowering and hiding like a rat when asked your name.

so don't do that shit here.

in much much much cooler news, bunnie is starting a book + tina tuns twenty today

# | |

the last thing i want to do is invite boys to write on the Lick blog

but i might have to.

then today i thought, maybe the ladies dont know how easy it is to write for Lick and the Lick blog.

if you want to write for Lick, just email me at my brand new email address:

busblog @ gmail . com

i will give the story to the lovely designer, ms raspil iverson of bluecad.net and before you know it it will be in Lick Magazine, the finest online web zine written and designed entirely by women.

if you would like to write for the Lick blog, just email me at the above address and let me know your intentions and i will invite you to join the blog via the blogger interface.

it really couldnt be more easy.

actually it could.

but this is what we have now.

i want to hear from you.

america wants to hear from you.

canada, who's as sick about american politics as i am, wants to hear from you.

why should you write for Lick?

to share your deepest darkest secrets that really should be let free.

why else?

cuz it will get read.

a year ago madpony wasnt getting but 500-600 hits. now theyre getting 1,600+ a day.

if 1,600+ people want to read two young women write, imagine if there were twelve regular contributors? nay, twenty?

lets face it, i dont even know when the next update or issue of Lick magazine is going to appear. which means the best way to get to tell the world about your run-ins with sex drugs and rock just might be the Lick blog.

when you sign up you can do it with a fake name, or you can sign up, like many have, with your real name.

the choice is yours and it can be changed.

so whattya say?

do you really want a bunch of sweaty dudes telling us about the first time they ever got it on with twins?

i dont.

i want to read about the first time you got it on with twins.

write me. make the Lick blog live up to the coolness of the Lick mag.

do it before its too late.

do it with someone you love.

but please,

please

do it.

tomorrow is tina's birthday, but since shes canadian, its happening right now.

# | |

people ask me all the time why i am a Christian. actually they dont. i wish they would. but they dont.

i seriously became a Christian while in college, my senior year. i had already taken two Bible as Literature classes where i had to read large portions of the good book, but i didnt "get it" until one day when i was reading it for leisure, and then everything suddenly fell into place.

i had been raised Catholic, but nothing ever sunk in. i went to church occasionally in my youth, but rarely out of my own choice, even though i had always been interested in God, religion, and indirectly, Jesus.

one of the most telling times of my life was when i was 11 or 12 years old and i was at a Christian summer camp outside of washington dc. at around noon i was given the choice of playing basketball, something i loved, or taking Bible study. i didnt even have to think twice, even at that young age i wasnt interested in the trivial rituals of the Catholic mass as much as i was curious and fascinated by this alleged holy text.

i remember nothing from those afternoons in that little chapel, but i do remember feeling something spiritual, imagined or not. a very different sensation than anything ive ever experienced in the secular world.

regardless, since that summer i never read the bible until college and it never "spoke to me" until i was about to graduate.

whats interesting is how it spoke to me.

for seven years i had been a struggling college student of english literature. over that time i had a variety of teacher, all of whom had similar ideas about what made for good stories and fine writing. when i read the bible for the third time i started reading it as a lit major, and it dawned on me that the bible was everything that i had been taught made for great literature.

it had a variety of believable characters, it was written in a clear manner of short descriptive sentences, very few adjectives and adverbs, light on the flowery phrases, and heavy on the quick movement of plot.

at the center of my fascination was the description of God who throughout the bible goes through many changes. all through creative writing classes i had been warned about flat characters who are predictable and who dont grow. here was the Creator of the universe who on one hand was supposed to know the begining and the end of things and yet acted very much like a human when he banned Adam and Eve from the garden, when he killed most of the planet with the flood, and who didnt allow Moses and most of his people reach the promise land.

if the bible was nothing more than edited propaganda, sliced up and re-written by church leaders over hundreds of years, they certainly knew nothing of propaganda. this was a god that only a half dozen characters ever truly believed in, followed by a messiah who even less believed in. if it was indeed propaganda it was reverse psychology at its finest.

to me, however, it was as honest and as real and as human as could be. trust and faith do not come easy to humans, of course they wouldnt have come easy for a man/god like Jesus, and the bible described it the way i could see it happening now: even after healing the sick and performing miracles day after day, Jesus's disciples still didnt view him as God, and even Peter, his rock, denied him all the way up until his death.

perfect.

probably because of my long slow journey in "getting" the bible, i have never been compelled to try to convert anyone into my belief that Jesus is God, because i seriously doubt that anyone could have converted me. here i was open minded and willing for most of my life, i read the bible on several occassions, went to church, even watched televangelists, and it didnt take. how on earth is one person going to convince another person as to something which at its root is so incredibly personal?

so personal that i take the next step in believing that i didnt "get it" until i was ready to get it. im glad that i believe in the bible due to the literary aspect, cuz that makes sense to me. if i had "seen God" during an acid trip or became "born again" after a huge tragedy, im not so sure it would have stuck. im not sure it would have seemed geniune to me.

but now when i read the bible and know that it was written by dozens of writers and individually and collectively it reads better than any one particular short or long work helps me believe that this was the will of a higher being.

and as a writer and a reader, it's important to me that my savior writes better and tells better stories than any one else.

and i like that he's a jealous God. and i like that He changes his mind. and i like that his Son was emotional.

the only wish that i have is that other intelligent young people who read dozens of books a year, try to read the Good Book this year. it baffles me how such well-read intellects, liberals even, hungry for political knowledge and artistic inspiration turn their backs on the most controversial and central work of literature of all time.

when I read the bible and finished it i saw no mention of premartial sex being a sin, i saw no mention of marijuana being a no-no, and i saw no mention of priests needing to be celebate or confession being necessary.

im dying to find out what my peers would discover, and then teach me, about their take on this fine read.

but i remember how difficult it was for me to get beyond the first few chapters on several attempts, and so i remain patient.

i wish you all a happy and enlightend Easter, probably the most important day in the religion I believe in, Christianity.

i'll do my best to continue to keep my religious beliefs to myself and out of the blog in the same way that i wish others kept their religious beliefs to themselves and out of the government.

matt welch + jeff jarvis + flagrant disregard

# | |